For me it feels like life is paused, especially in the wedding industry. I sometimes wonder if weddings have been forgotten.
postponed weddings
For so many couples, suppliers and venues the future still looks so uncertain. Plans have been adapted or postponed. Some making several revisions as restrictions ease and are then reintroduced.
wedding restrictions
There’s still so much to think about in the news and things can change quickly. Wedding receptions were due to be allowed from 1st August for up to 30 people (without live music, dancing, or buffets). But this wasn’t the case as the lockdown reductions were delayed by 2 weeks to 15th August at the earliest. What will the governments review announce this weekend?
Since 8th August wedding guests have to wear face coverings in public indoor settings (such as places of worship) or any enclosed public space where there are people they do not normally meet.
change, adapt, evolve
Meanwhile, whilst on pause we need to evolve and change – personally as well as professionally. We need to do things differently when the play button is finally pressed.
At the moment it feels like it’s back to basics whilst we learn how to survive all over again. But in order to grow, improve and thrive, we need to firstly revise, rethink, reform and adjust.
According to Darwin’s Origin of Species, it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.
Let’s rewrite wedding traditions
Lots of buzz words to prepare for the new norm. But basically it boils down to having the chance to do things differently.
I’d love to hear if you’re having a wedding in the next few months and to hear how you’ve creatively dealt with the restrictions.
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Just one month ago, the wedding of Hannah and Richard was held at stunning Friars Court in Oxfordshire. A no frills or fuss, intimate ceremony on Saturday 4th July 2020 saw one of the first civil weddings in Oxfordshire under the new social distancing rules.
new rules
After a hiatus of nearly 4 months of paused and postponed weddings in England due to lockdown, the 4th July marked the date for weddings to take place again. Now with a number of restrictions that couples must follow in order for their wedding to go ahead safely.
By 1st August, we thought that things would be easing further around restrictions for wedding receptions. But these are still limited to only two households indoors in most parts of the UK, or up to 6 people from different households outdoor. Whilst social distanced ceremonies can currently be held for up to 30 people.
new plans
This happy couple decided to go ahead with their original date of 4th July to perform the legal part of the wedding. Their wedding had been booked since last August following their engagement in Italy on 5th July 2019.
Hannah and Richard chose Saturday 4th July as it was the closest date to the first anniversary of the proposal. They were one of the 2020 couples who held onto the hope they’d have the entirety of their wedding on their planned date for as long as possible.
As the date was significant to them, they decided to have the civil ceremony at the very least. So they were happy to go along with whatever was necessary to make that happen.
new dates
They’re still hoping they’ll have the planned reception this September. However they are mindful that this may not be possible in the current climate or it may need to be a significantly pared down version.
They have managed to move all their suppliers to 19th September 2020 in the hope that they will be able to celebrate with friends and family. They also plan to have a mock ceremony so Hannah can walk down the aisle in her dress and recreate the ceremony again. The venue and suppliers were great in accommodating the new date which instantly put the couples’ minds at rest.
Their reasoning behind going ahead with a ceremony on their original date of 4th July is so that they don’t need to delay starting a family. If the worst case scenario happens and the September date is not able to go ahead and they have to delay until 2021, they could start a family in the knowledge that they are already married.
new guest list
Originally, they had planned for 85 of their family and friends to attend with a number travelling in from France, Dubai and Canada.
To meet new rules, they needed to reduce the number of guests and households. However to avoid any upset when choosing witnesses from family and friends they opted to prune this to the bare minimum. They asked the two venue owners to be witnesses. And when the photographer had to drop out (due to insurance issues), the venue also stepped in as wedding photographer too (with a zoom lens to keep distant). So, along with two registrars there was a total of 6 people present (two registrars, two witnesses, plus the bride and groom).
new focus
No big grand traditional entrance for this wedding as the couple arrived together in their own car. But the venue still bestowed a grand setting and provided the couple use of it’s grounds for this special day.
Friars Court in Clanfield is a privately owned, mid-17th century house, in 600 acres of beautiful Oxfordshire countryside. Friars Court was granted a Civil Ceremony licence in 2003 and in that same year set up Silver Pear Weddings. Since then they have worked with over 350 couples celebrating their marriage at Friars Court.
This certainly was the smallest civil ceremony the venue has ever hosted in nearly 20 years and is the first time they’ve acted as witnesses, for what turned out to be the second civil ceremony across the county under the new rules.
Unfortunately the 2020 season will the final one for Silver Pear Weddings hosting wedding receptions at Friars Court as from 2021 onwards they will purely host ceremonies.
minimal decor
As this was just a ceremony the couple did not unleash their full plans and colour scheme, which they will hold for a later celebration.
So the venue set the room out based on plans and guidance that the registrars provided. Without decor, the room looked quite bare so the owners arranged a few flowers from the venue’s garden for the registrars’ table.
something old (not new)
Both bride and groom were dressed in smart casual clothes. Hannah wore a full-length lilac party dress, a bridesmaid style dress in keeping with her bridesmaid colour scheme. Richard wore a work suit. They are saving their wedding outfits for their celebration day.
new ceremony time
Hannah and Richard were offered the choice of either an 11am or 3pm wedding ceremony time. They chose 3pm to avoid rushing about in the morning. The first ceremony in the county was at 1pm. So if they’d gone with an 11am slot they’d have been the first civil ceremony in Oxfordshire but were still the second one.
The registrars had been in charge of writing the guidelines for ‘weddings during a pandemic’ so they’d specifically requested to come (rather than the usual registrars from Witney) to road test their amended version of a ceremony to see how well it worked.
new format
The presentation of the bride was omitted because there wasn’t anyone there to ‘give her away’ and under current guidelines, unless a bride lives in the same household, then walking in with anyone other than her future husband isn’t permitted.
With the ceremony being just the couple, it was also decided to eliminate playing any music. So as their interviews took place where they were going to stand for the ceremony, there was no point in any entrance. So the registrar went straight into the welcome and whipped through the abbreviated ceremony in no time.
The ceremony itself was a lot shorter than you might expect for the obvious reasons of there being no guests to tell stories about where the couple met, where the proposal took place and any other details for the registrar to share. The registrars were lovely and made the couple feel comfortable throughout. Richard said that:
‘There was an odd sort of feeling to proceedings as you are extremely aware that there are only 4 other people in the room, however with that said there was an intimate feeling and a truly personal experience had by doing it this way. It reminds you that this day is absolutely just for the two of you.’
Most of the ceremony was the same as usual; using the short option of “I am” (free to marry) and “I do” (take this man/woman). Keeping that part short is intended to reduce the length of the ceremony as the registrar did mention about the unfortunate necessity of keeping things ‘short and sweet’. The registrars weren’t exactly rushing the ceremony but they didn’t take their time either in order to reduce the risk of exposure by making the services as brief as possible.
new accessories
Hannah and Richard were asked beforehand whether they would like the registrars with or without masks. Whilst not a problem at this ceremony, the registrars voiced their concerns about the new rules and envisaged possible difficulties in ensuring guests staying exactly where they are put.
As the registrar leading the ceremony was on one side of the room and the couple on the other well side (more than 2 metres from either registrar) she removed her mask which meant she was far more audible. The registrar doing the writing kept her mask on for the duration.
The couple signed the register both having to wear a bright red rubber glove before handling the pen (the registrars had a box of them) and all commented on how odd that felt. The gloves were meant to come off for signing photos but instead the pair waved their gloved hands at the camera.
Certificates are posted to couples after their weddings at the moment so there was no presentation to wind the ceremony up. However, the registrars did make their congratulations and then left so the couple could go out for a few photos in the grounds before the rain started.
newly weds
Hannah and Richard wandered the grounds whilst the venue owner very kindly took some photos to remember the day. They then popped back inside with their own picnic hamper to have a little DIY afternoon tea for two in the middle of the empty Garden Room.
All the traditional milestone elements of a wedding reception (cake cutting, first dance, entertainment, favours etc) have all been saved for their celebration later in the year.
Afterwards they headed off for a couple of nights in Malmesbury.
Our fingers are crossed for 19th September or sometime in 2021 for their sequel wedding.
Due to the current government restrictions for weddings during the corona virus pandemic, you may have to rethink some of your wedding plans. Unless you live in the same household as your father, you may need to omit the tradition of walking down the aisle arm in arm.
walking down the aisle
In order to keep within social distancing rules, you may want to think more creatively with some novel ways to be given away:
walk yourself
walk with a pet
both have an entrance, one after the other
both walk down together
both enter from either side of altar
processional bridal party followed by guests
make the guests walk in with couple already waiting at the altar
walk around seats set in a circle or spiral
video montage played on a screen of those who can’t be at the ceremony
make a bouquet whilst collecting flowers from guests (one for when social distance restrictions are lifted)
Let’s rewrite wedding traditions. This is the chance to do things differently – your way.
I’d love to hear if you’re having a wedding in the next few months and to hear how you’ve creatively dealt with the restrictions.
We’ve now been in lockdown for over 100 days, due to the Corona virus (COVID-19), and things are beginning to slowly ease to allow the economy to kick start again (for now at least).
The fourth of July will be a monumental date for most of England as more things open up. But rather than a focus on independence, the day also marks the time that couples can start to tie the knot again.
Since 23rd March, weddings and civil partnerships have been banned in England due to lockdown. But from 4th July they can now take place again. However there will be a number of restrictions in order for these to be able to go ahead, providing they are safe and follow guidelines.
The new guidance from the government on weddings and civil partnerships in England includes:
No more than 30 people in total at ceremony
This not only includes the couple, family and friends but also any suppliers, officiants and witnesses (but not including staff at the venue). Venues will keep a register of every visitor for at least 21 days for track and trace purposes. Some venues will be also be able to help with remote participation at home for those guests that can’t be there in person.
No wedding receptions
At most, couples can hold a very small reception after the ceremony. Although this can be with only two households indoors, or up to 6 people from different households outdoors. Face to face seating is being discouraged. On the adverse, this could be a real money saving aspect as the reception is often the most expensive part of a wedding.
No food and drink
Nothing is supposed to be consumed as part of the event. Meanwhile, there is some discussion at the moment about reducing vat on the hospitality industry sector (to only 5%) to encourage spending. All this will help the wedding budget and will help couples save up to possibly have a sequel wedding or separate reception next year or at another time.
Not too long
The advice is to keep things to a minimum and mainly keep to the legal bits. The official bit is actually only about 10 minutes long. Any order of service should be one use and guests will be encouraged to take their sheets away with them.
No walking down the aisle
Unless you live in the same household as your father, you may need to omit the tradition of walking down the aisle arm in arm. However, lockdown has certainly got people thinking more creatively, so I’m sure there will be some novel ways to be given away within social distancing rules. Look out for my alternative suggestions for this part of the ceremony coming soon.
No singing
To avoid the spread of the virus via droplets, you can’t raise your voices to say your vows and one person is to speak at a time (or you may need Perpspex clear screens). Singing will not be allowed and instruments that are blown into aren’t permitted either. You are able to have organ music or you can use recordings instead. But you can not play loud music, as this would mean that people may need to shout to be heard or lean in to hear.
Hand washing
On top of the usual advice, handwashing will be especially important before and after exchanging rings. And rings shouldn’t be handled by too many people either.
Social distancing
Staying apart from people is still the key message and guests are advised to keep to the 2 metre rule (or 1 metre plus extra safety measures such as face masks or screens). Venues are being encouraged to improve their ventilation and to tape floors to help people keep their distance. Whilst you won’t have the stress of the seating plan at a reception, you may want to think about how and where people sit in the church or ceremony venue. Household/family groups could sit together closer than 2 metres, whilst others will need to be socially distanced from other households.
No certainty
The biggest concern at the moment is the uncertainty of how long these types of measures will be in place. Lockdown could return (nationally or locally) at any time or restrictions could ease further. There is no knowing how long we will need to live with these rules. Some couples may be nervous and so may want more transparency and flexibility when booking. Couples need to have confidence to pay deposits and understand how contingency plans will be handled by venues and suppliers.
Weddings during a pandemic
Weddings will look and feel very different for a little while and may not suit everyone. They will certainly be more intimate and personal. A limited guest list may ease some couples’ stresses whilst some of those with large families may be at a disadvantage.
Perhaps some will find weddings more clinical and less celebratory. A church service could feel more like a registry office style wedding, with just the legal bits and no singing.
Unless this is your only chance (due to ill health, work, forces or travel commitments) then what is a few months or a year to wait in the grand scheme of 40 or 50 years together? But if you are desperate to get married, then these are the types of restrictions that will have to be considered as the current norm.
A break from tradition
However, perhaps these restrictions will focus couples on what a wedding really means to them. They will need to think about what is the most important part for them – whether that’s the ceremony, the start of a marriage, or a party and time to celebrate with friends and family.
This could be the time that wedding traditions change. This will challenge wedding traditions and force couples to think in new ways to hold their wedding. Suppliers and venues will need to adapt in order to survive.
So what does this mean for the future of weddings? At the moment, I keep coming back to the last scene of the third Back to the Future film. Doc Brown explains that the future hasn’t been written yet. ‘No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one. Both of you.’
This is the chance to do things differently – your way.
I’d love to hear if you’re having a wedding in the next few months and how you’re creatively dealing with the restrictions.
I’m gettin’ married in the morning Ding-dong the bells are gonna chime We’ll have a whopper, pull out the stopper Get me to the church on time
I’ve got to get there in the morning Spruced up and lookin’ in my prime Pull out your compass, kick up a rompass Get me to the church on time
As the old Frank Sinatra song says, it’s important to know where and when you’re getting married so you can get there in plenty of time. It’s worth thinking about how far away you live from the venue/s as well as the distance in between the ceremony and reception locations too. Think about how far the venues are not only in terms of miles but also timings. Depending on what time of day you’re getting married it may conflict with rush hour or school runs that could affect traffic and people travelling between locations. (See more about when and where in my Holy Trinity of Wedding Planning series.)
Traditionally, couples used to walk to the church together (and then on to the reception too) or splash out on a horse and carriage (just like in the famous Daisy Daisy song below). Then before people owned cars the ushers were responsible for organising transport for all guests.
Nowadays, here are some of the wedding party that you need to consider transport for:
From home to ceremony
bride and giver-away
bride’s mother & bridesmaids
groom & best man
To reception
bride & groom
bride’s parents & bridesmaids
best man & other guests
From reception
bride’s parents
bride & groom
best man
Another tradition of tying cans or shoes to the back of the going away car stems from the old tradition of throwing boots at the newly weds. It was considered lucky if you managed to hit the carriage as they rode off. Before then, shoes were given to the groom by the bride’s family to symbolise handing over the responsibility of the bride.
Nowadays couples choose to have at least one special mode of transport to make a statement for the bride’s entrance (and again for after the ceremony). Whether that is horse drawn carriage, an old fashioned car, a limousine, a vespa, a big red bus for your guests or something a little more unusual.
Here’s my pick of some brilliant local suppliers in and around Oxfordshire and the Cotswolds that can help get you to the church on time:
If you are looking for something truly unique for your wedding day then look no further than our 3 beautiful Citroen 2CVs.
Established in 2011 and having just celebrated our 5th Anniversary, we are a family run business with bases in Hereford and Leicester supplying our iconic Citroen 2CVs to weddings across England and Wales.
These chauffeur driven cars are available for hire exclusively to yourselves for the day, we do not book more than one wedding per car a day.
They are decorated with Ivory ribbons and bows as standard but can be requested in any colour to match your theme, just married sign in the back window following the ceremony and vintage style bunting in the car if requested.
So whether your wedding be classic, vintage, French themed or something completely different we will be happy to discuss all details and options with yourselves.
Bainton Bikes is an independently owned cycle hire and tours company with a shop in Oxford and self-service hire hubs throughout the Cotswolds & Cheltenham. We have been operating since 2009 and we specialise in offering cycle hire, tours and holidays for all ages and abilities providing a safe, fun and memorable experience for everyone. Take a look at our reviews onTrip Advisor.
From a life full of motorsport and petrol-headism, and a love of classic cars, British Classic Car Hire was born. Angela, your chauffeuse, is owner-operator and see’s to it that every bride and groom get to enjoy the ride and feel extra special for their first wedded journey.
Angela’s “girls” are stunning examples from a different age… true vintage beauties, and having been built in Coventry are true British Classic cars. “Hester” the 1935 Humber 16/60 is gorgeous in her Black and Old English White Art Deco styled splendidness! (and also featured in my Wind in the Willows shoot as seen above) “Dolly” the 1938 EL24 Daimler is resplendent in French Navy and Old English White. The young lady of the bunch is “Ruby” the pictured Classic 1956 Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud I. Travel in classic style with Angela and her “girls”.
We attend a lot of weddings but not in the capacity of transport. We provide a unique and fun entertainment for guests to take tethered rides and to go inside and explore what makes balloons work. We find what we provide works best in between the end of the wedding breakfast / speeches and the start of the evening phase. Most guests appreciate a chance to stretch their legs, get a bit of fresh air and the staff also enjoy being able to clear away and re organise the room ready for the evening’s events.
Cotswold Tuk Tuk was launched in 2017 by Chris Webb as an alternative form of wedding transport. The brand new Thai style tuk tuk is stunning blue with beautiful ivory seating. It can seat up to 6 passengers so is ideal for a range of options including bride and bridesmaids; groom, best man and ushers; or shuttle runs for guests between a ceremony and reception venue.
Chris can decorate the tuk tuk with different bunting and ribbon, or anything else you want to make your day bespoke. He takes great care to make sure it is looking on point, and if the weather does turn it has fitted rain covers. Discover the rustic charm of the tuk tuk for your big day.
Getting married in and around the Cotswolds? Looking for a totally unique way to get to your wedding? Well, you’ve just found our fabulous and ever so kitsch Indian Ambassador wedding car. Kushi means happiness in Hindi, and with our vintage Ambassador, our mission is to make you even happier on your wedding day. Reminiscent of a Morris Minor on the outside, our Kushi Car has bumpers festooned with exotic flowers and an interior decorated in rich fabrics of red and gold.
Established in 2010, we have been hired for weddings at venues all over the Cotswolds and beyond, including Cripps Barn, Kingscote Barn, Stone Barn and Pitville Pump Rooms to name a few. Previously a London Karma Kar, we changed our name to Kushi Cars in 2013.
Based in the regency town of Cheltenham in Gloucestershire, we travel throughout the Cotswolds. We also drive to Wiltshire, Oxfordshire, Worcestershire, Warwickshire, The West Midlands, Bristol and Bath. Further afield is possible on request.
Rusty and Roses is a vintage events and hire company. They have two restored classic camper vans, a campervan photo booth, ice cream hire and venue decorations services. Located in Thatcham Berkshire. Hiring unique split screen camper called “Rusty” and a VW Bay window “Roses”. Covering all areas and love to assist your wedding in any ways we can.
Looking for something really special for your wedding day? Do you love everything vintage, and the classic English countryside? If so, meet Quirky Gertie!
Gertie is a 1968 Carlight Cassetta caravan, beautifully restored, and ready to be the part of your special day.
She will make a beautiful setting for your informal, behind the scenes photos. Pre-wedding or post wedding family and friends photo shots.
New for 2017, we can provide a photo booth option, with a photographer, and on site printing. Producing quality post card photos for your guests to take away on the day.
We can also provide bespoke catering with anything from a cream to one of our ‘Proper Hampers’ for sharing. All our food is locally sourced and home- made to order.
If it’s unusual transport to and from your wedding venue that you need, we have just added another 1960’s classic to our stable. Molly the Morris Minor, who can be hired with a driver for your special day.
If you are interested in hiring Gertie, or Molly please have a look at our website or any of our social media, and please don’t hesitate to get in touch….we are here to help make your day how you see it.
Award-winning wedding chauffeur car hire in Gloucestershire, Herefordshire, Royal Forest of Dean, Worcestershire, Wye Valley.
1960s design British carriages of distinction including Rolls-Royce & rare 7-seater limousine
Tip – Dooooo book a car (or two or three), fabulous added value for memorable photographs (especially dare it rain) & that priceless time straight after being married, just the two of you.
Tradition – getting it right, being just so … alike the Butler in Downton, it is the expert chauffeur who ensures that the Bride, the priceless gem of the day, arrives suitably & appropriately late.
Trend – For quite a time now the in thing has been to choose something whacky, a Beauford, a Camper Van, a red London bus, a helicopter or a parachute, so the classic white Rolls has become the cool rarity, the head-turning wow-factor.
Tastefully done, The Wedding Chauffeur takes pride in being the quintessential English gentleman, immaculately turned out in tweeds, cravat, sober suit, your choice, The Wedding Chauffeur devotes time and attention to every detail, from brushing the sheepskin over-rugs to providing emergency needle & thread & confetti, ‘you name It’, getting it right for you is the rewarding challenge on your very special day.
It is not just driving a car that won The Wedding Chauffeur the ‘Best Transport’ Three Counties Supplier Award 2016.
Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer, do! I’m half crazy, All for the love of you. It won’t be a stylish marriage I can’t afford a carriage But you’ll look sweet Upon the seat Of a bicycle made for two.
Once you’re over the hurdle of preparing your guest list and the headache of waiting (and chasing) for RSVPs, it will be time to decide where to seat your nearest and dearest for your wedding breakfast.
Take a look at our 10 point guide on how (and where) to seat your wedding guests to help you through what can be another tricky juggling act of keeping everyone happy. There’s etiquette, tradition, logistics, safety & practicalities to consider (as well as who Aunty Vera may have fallen out with) so that all can see and been seen by the bridal party.
1) size and shape
Firstly, establish what is possible at your venue. What could you fit in to the room? What is already available there? You need to think about the space, tables and chairs. Taking in to account the size, shape and style of these three elements. Count the number of tables and determine how many chairs can fit around the different shapes of table. This amount should accommodate your final guest numbers.
2) style of meal
How you lay out the tables can be dictated by the style of food that you will be serving. For example, if you’re having a casual meal or buffet then you may opt for guests to pick their own places when they’ve got their food rather than a formal sit down meal where everyone has an allocated place setting. To get guests to mix up, you could provide a bowl of numbers and people pick out their table number as they enter the reception.
3) structure
The formation of the tables will depend on their shape and the atmosphere you want to create. Family style sharing meals work well on rectangle banquet tables with benches on either side. Laying long tables in a horseshoe or T shape creates a focal point of the bridal party. Whilst round tables surrounded by chairs can cluster groups together for good interaction. Square tables give a great modern feel and don’t feel restricted to use a uniform type of table – mix and match shapes and sizes to suit your needs.
4) standard
Traditionally there is a head (or top) table containing at least the happy couple. In addition, etiquette suggests their parents, along with chief bridesmaid and groomsman join this long table facing the guests so that everyone can view the top table (eg Chief Bridesmaid, Groom’s Father, Bride’s Mother, Groom, Bride, Bride’s Father, Groom’s Mother, Best Man). Working away from this focal point, others from the wedding party are grouped near to the top table, followed by closest relatives, then friends, and finally colleagues.
5) substitutes
Let’s face it, you can have whoever you want on the top table (or no top table at all!) Nowadays there are many alternative schemes to factor in different family circumstances and partnerships. The top table could be round rather than rectangle so the wedding party get to chat too. The top table could just contain the two most important members of the day whilst the rest of the bridal party host their own family members on separate tables. Sometimes brides and grooms choose to sit at a different table for each course to mingle with all their guests.
6) special considerations
As well as knowing how many people you’re seating, you’ll need to factor in any accessibility requirements for any young, elderly or incapacitated guests such as incorporating requests for highchairs. People with any tasks to carry out during the meal or speeches should be able to get out of their place easily too. There’s always a temptation to match make with a singles table, though my advice would always be to keep people with people they already know (and like). Tradition suggests alternating men and women around a table.
7) system
How to plan who sits where is a fine and delicate art often thrown by last minute cancellations and feuds. There are lots of online planning tools, apps and software available to help solve this issue. However, nothing beats a large piece of paper containing the floor plan of your room with blank tables drawn in the right places. Then get some small coloured sticky tabs in perhaps three colours (for men, women and children). Write each guest’s name on the relevant coloured tab and stick these around the table templates until you’re happy with the seating combinations.
8) selecting tables
There are many options and ways to personalise your tables including the names you give each table or how you number them. One of my favourites at the moment is showing a picture of both of the happy couple at the age that the table number corresponds with.
9) seating plan
There a couple of options to ensure that guests get to the table you’ve allocated to them. Firstly, you can display a seating plans of the different tables listing which guests are sat at each table. Ideally have a couple of these plans to avoid everyone bunching around one and placing it outside of the room for people to view it ahead of time to avoid a rush on entry. Alternatively, escort cards can be displayed (perhaps alphabetically) which each contain the name of a guest along with the table name/number where they are to be seated. In both scenarios, place name cards on the table can show guests where to sit or they could pick their own seat.
10) seating at ceremonies
It’s not just the reception to consider but you may want to offer a modern take on where people sit at the ceremony too. Traditionally in a religious building, the Bride’s family sit on the left of the premises and the Groom’s sit on the right. However, many people are asking their guests to pick a seat not a side. Plus if the venue is less formal you can move away from rows of chairs and opt for a circle around the couple or even a spiral of chairs working inwards to the couple.
So far in the series, I’ve introduced the three key aspects of planning a wedding that pretty much affect every other thing that is connected with your big day. These are who, where and how much (otherwise known as your guests, venue and budget). This group of three things are very much intertwined. Plus when you hold your wedding is connected too! As previously covered (in the who post), nearly all the decisions you have to make about your wedding will come back to one, two or all of the elements in what I class as ‘the holy trinity of wedding planning’.
This month I’m going to tackle the where element and your all-important choice of venue (and will look at the last element in the trinity of how much another time).
Finding the right venue that is available at the right time, for the right price, for the right number of guests will be one of the first (and trickiest) parts of planning your wedding. But once you’ve decided on this element everything else will seem like a doddle! Before venue hunting, have a rough idea of your budget and how many guests you want to share the day with you. (I told you that the where, who and how much elements would come in to play.) And have an idea of when you want it to take place too. See my top tips below to give you an idea of some other factors to help you decide the place where you’ll say ‘I do’.
Nowadays, the world is pretty much your oyster in terms of options available. If you’ve seen ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’, you’ll realise that you can get married in all types of places!
1.Where in the world
Maybe you don’t fancy risking the British weather and want to get married outside of the UK, to jet off or elope. Destination weddings are certainly an attractive proposition and usually mean that all the details get handled for you by the hotel where you are staying. Plus you get your honeymoon and wedding all rolled in to one.
However, it’s worth considering that going abroad could limit who can come to the wedding (here’s the trinity coming in to play again) as not everyone will be able to afford to attend or elderly relatives may not be well enough to travel. Plus, just remember that whoever does come will be with you for your honeymoon too! Guests would have to factor in more time to attend the wedding, so the time of year that you have your wedding may also affect whether they could come.
Before booking your tickets, you should also check the legalities of your chosen country as it may be more hassle than it’s worth to be legally wed in that country (translating of documents, time and effort etc) so you may chose to do the legal bit at home before or after the glamourous beach part. (Don’t forget to make sure your passport matches the name you are travelling under – it might be best to travel under your maiden name unless there is time to get your passport changed before you travel. (See my checklist of other documents and organisations to tell about your change of name.)
2.Pinpoint the location
Once you’ve decided on whether you’re getting married home or abroad, then you need to narrow down the location and think about:
Which country?
Which region?
Which town?
Will it be in or out of town?
Would the venue be easy to find?
All these factors will impact on travel costs and timings. Guests will need to consider whether they need to factor in overnight accommodation as well. Plus if your wedding is not near where you live you may not be able to visit the venue many times before the big day or meet with suppliers face to face to view products in advance.
Think about how far away the ceremony venue is from the reception venue in terms of distance but also timings. Depending on what time of day you’re getting married it may conflict with rush hour or school runs that could affect traffic and people travelling between locations.
Wherever you get married, if you are having a Church of England wedding ceremony, your Banns (an announcement of your intention to marry) need to be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as the church where you will be getting married (if this is somewhere different). So if you plan to attend the reading of your Banns, it might be harder if you have to travel far.
3.Formalities
What kind of day do you want? Perhaps you’ve already got your Pinterest boards at the ready (goodness knows how we ever planned anything before Pinterest!) If not, how do you envisage your wedding day? The style of wedding that you want will influence the venue you choose so think about whether you want something that is:
All in one venue?
Big or small?
Relaxed or formal?
Inside or outside?
Urban or rural or coastal?
Unique or package?
Adults only or child friendly?
Organised for you or somewhere you can bring together your own group of suppliers?
What kind of theme do you want?
Vintage
Rustic
Glamourous
Country garden
Festival
Tropical
Medieval
Carnival
etc etc
4.Legally speaking
You could have a religious or civil ceremony, or perhaps have a blessing in an amazing off-the-beaten track location and do the legal bit at another time. According to the Citizens Advice Bureau in the UK, at the moment you can legally get married in the following places:
a Register Office
premises approved by the local authority such as a hotel
a church of the Church of England, Church in Wales, Church of Ireland, Presbyterian or Roman Catholic Church in N. Ireland (opposite sex couples only)
a synagogue or any other private place if both partners are Jewish
a Meeting House if one or both partners are either members of the Society of Friends (Quakers) or are associated with the Society by attending meetings
any registered religious building (England and Wales only)
the home of one of the partners if the partner is housebound or detained, for example, in prison
a place where one partner is seriously ill and not expected to recover, for example, in hospital
a licensed naval, military or air force chapel
In addition, owners of premises that are regularly open to the public (ie stately homes, hotels and civic buildings) can apply to hold civil marriages. Generally these places need to be in a permanent built structure and not an open air venue. So it’s worth checking with your dream venue to check if you could get legally married there.
5.Location, location, location
Whether you’re having a one-stop venue, or having the legal part somewhere else, you’ll want to have somewhere you can relax, eat and have fun with your guests after the ceremony. There are lots of different types of venues to chose from for your wedding reception including:
How far in advance you’re planning might open up more possibilities and how much you have to spend will offer different options. Plus the number of guests will complete the trinity of factors that will influence where you pick.
See my list of Top 20 venues in and around Oxfordshire and the Cotswolds for some local venue inspiration.
6.Size does matter
With your trusty (and let’s be honest probably controversial and stress inducing) guest list at the ready, you’ll be able to determine what size of venue you need. Other things to think about with your guests include:
Will you be feeding all the guests?
Will it be a sit down meal or buffet? (If you want to all be sat around tables that could change the number of people you can fit in a room versus if people are stood mingling around.)
Will you be having all the guests for the whole day? Or will you have some for the meal and some will come in addition later for the evening?
The size of the venue will influence how many guests you can invite but you could increase the numbers by having an evening section that doesn’t require everyone to be sat down to eat.
7.Icing on the cake
So what’s really important to you? What are the things you won’t compromise on – those things that your wedding venue must have to make your wedding perfect?
Do you require parking? How much parking is required?
What facilities are important to you?
Do you need disabled access?
How many rooms will you need?
What size of rooms are available?
Are there separate rooms for getting ready beforehand?
Is there a space for children or for elderly to escape the main area?
Will yours be the only wedding at that venue on the day?
Is there accommodation at the venue?
What facilities or factors are on your non-negotiable list?
8.The fine detail
They’re probably not deal breakers, but there may be a few minor points that could sway your decision or would give a different day depending on the decisions by individual venues about their policies on:
Confetti
Candles
Marquees
Fireworks
Helicopters
Music switch off time
Enough power
Use of your own suppliers
License for alcohol
Picking your venue may be time consuming but the effort will be worth it as the venue is probably the most expensive element of the day, so you want it to be right. Once you’ve sorted the venue (and set the date) then you can start planning all the other finer details. With the who, where and how much at the fore front of your mind, everything else can fall in to place.
6) special considerations
So far in the series, I’ve introduced the three key aspects of planning a wedding that pretty much affect every other thing that is connected with your big day. These are who, where and how much (otherwise known as your guests, venue and budget). This group of three things are very much intertwined. Plus 
3.Formalities
5.Location, location, location 
7.Icing on the cake
Picking your venue may be time consuming but the effort will be worth it as the venue is probably the most expensive element of the day, so you want it to be right. Once you’ve sorted the venue (and