The wedding guest list is often cited as being one of the top stresses for couples during wedding planning (whether you plan to invite children or not to your big day).
Who to invite is personal to each couple, as every family has different circumstances and it depends who is ‘hosting’ the wedding (and often who is paying for it). There may be some tough decisions to make with your guest list. Perhaps the reality of your budget means you have to rein in a few of your plans, or other people’s involvement means compromising on who you want to invite, including whether to have children at all/some/none of your wedding.
There’s no right or wrong answer on who to invite to your wedding. Nor is there sadly a magical formula that will work it out for you. Ultimately, you should invite guests that you want to share your special day with.
who to invite
It is said that the enjoyment of most gatherings can be made or broken depending on who is there. People do really make the party! So the all important guest list can dictate what kind of a day you (and your guests) might have.
To avoid confusion from the outset, it is often better to be really specific about who you are inviting, to which parts of the day they are invited to, and whether you are inviting their children (or not) so that they are not left in any doubt.
Meanwhile, here is a checklist to consider if you are inviting children to your wedding:
clear communication – set expectations early on about who is invited and give guests with children an idea of the running order for the day so they can plan naps, meals and their schedule accordingly around your day
consistency – make sure you say the same thing to everyone and be clear why there may be exceptions
contribution – get children involved with little tasks like confetti throwing, part of the speeches, ring bearer etc
crèche – consider childcare or a chaperone in a side room for lots of children
changing facilities – make sure there’s somewhere for little ones to ‘freshen up’
crafts, cinema, competitions, cartoons, colouring or just somewhere to run around outside – anything to help keep them entertained (how about a silent disco for them during the meal?)
catering – have food specifically with children in mind
chairs – make sure they’re comfortable, suitable for their age and close to their parents
entertaining children at weddings
One of the key things to keeping your wedding guests happy (whatever their age) is to keep them fed, watered and entertained! When it comes to children at weddings they may need a little more entertainment.
With the right planning, involving children in the celebrations can be fantastic fun without compromising on a stylish and stress-free day. Here are some top tips for entertaining children at your wedding, courtesy of Hedgerow Circus, to ensure a stress free day for all generations to enjoy.
1. Think about the flow of the day
Providing toys and games for your youngest guests can make a huge difference to the flow of the reception, as having the children happily entertained has the added bonus that the parents are free to fully enjoy the celebrations too.
2. Keep a space free in your venue for children guests
Every venue is different, but almost all have an area which is suitable to dedicate to some toys and games. This may be anything from an entire room which can become a fully stocked playroom if you have lots of children attending, to a quiet corner of a marquee where a simple white tipi with toys inside could be set up. Allocating a dedicated play area, however large or small, will prevent toys from taking over.
3. Involve children guests in parts of the wedding day
Consider any times that you can involve children in the proceedings, not only as flower girls or page boys but with responsibilities such as handing out programmes, confetti or gifts. If you have any older or more confident children attending, perhaps reading a short poem or announce cutting of the cake. It’s always a good idea to provide some quiet entertainment for the times you don’t want the children to be involved, such as during speeches. A speeches survival kit of puzzles, colouring or Lego usually goes down a treat (for parents too – who can relax and listen to the speeches).
4. Bring the generations together
Enjoy the chance to bring all the generations of your friends and family together in one place, to celebrate this new chapter in your lives together. You will be giving special memories to everyone to look back on.
About Hedgerow Circus
There is no need to compromise on style when including toys and games at your wedding venue; take a look at Hedgerow Circus, a local company based in the Cotswolds who provide a great range of attractive play areas to cater for groups of all sizes, delivered and set up at your wedding or event venue.
There’s no doubt about it, social media has changed (and continues to shape the way) we communicate, our relationships, our society and culture. It is a part of our every day lives and so it’s no wonder that you’ll want to think about the role that social media will play on your wedding day too.
About a third of the world uses some sort of social media. And the age of technology that we live in has meant that we are rarely uncontactable. There is a sense of urgency in our communicating and the need to share. Social media has enabled us to publish and share our lives not only with our nearest and dearest but to a wider audience too. We can share events, connect with people and it certainly has made the world feel like a smaller place.
I believe that social media has also made the news more relevant and accessible to more people, as well as personalising and interacting with announcements.
We are now living in the moment (all be it a digital one) with a need for things to be instant and live. We are also becoming more visual in our communications and video is the king of social media right now.
Whether you are going to embrace social media or shun it for your wedding, here are my top ten tips and modern day etiquette suggestions to make the most of social media on your special day.
Top tips for social media at your wedding day:
Make sure you keep things personal – perhaps tell your closest family and friends in person before changing your status on social media or posting an engagement ring photo.
Don’t rely on social media for all your wedding communications – think about your guest list as it may cover people from a variety of generations and technological abilities. Not everyone will have access or regular use of social media. A physical invitation will mean everyone on your list gets the same message.
Don’t overshare on social media – keep an element of surprise beforehand. Also you don’t want to make any of your social media followers feel left out if they haven’t been invited to your big day.
If you feel like going tech free then have an unplugged wedding – just make sure you set expectations with your guests early on.
Create a hashtag or a personalised Snapchat filter – share the # on your invitations, order of service and on signs around the reception. Then collect images on a social media wall at the reception or an online wedding album.
Use Facebook live or Periscope – for those guests that can’t make it (or live far away) consider streaming your wedding live so that they can still experience the day.
Give a selfie stick as wedding favours – instead of the old disposable cameras on each table at the reception, give guests a selfie stick or a list of photos to try and capture.
Etiquette tip – guests should wait until after the bride or groom have posted anything before putting up shots of the happy couple.
Keep a traditional photographer – nothing beats professional photographs! And guests, please make sure that you don’t block the photographer on the day. The couple want to see your faces not your phones when they look back on their photographs. Chose a moment in the ceremony when guests can take their own photos.
Enjoy the moment – above all remember to live the day and not just be recording events. Put the phone down for one day and make the most of having all the people you love in one room at the same time to celebrate your special day.
Weddings are a wonderful celebration of love and marriage. And how wonderful to have all the people you care about in the same place at the same time. Along with the wedding party, the other beautifully attired guests in the room will have invested their time and money to be there on the day with you too.
At one point in my life I was a serial wedding guest and also could often be seen wearing a fancy dress stood at the front (although only as a bridesmaid all too often). Luckily I’ve now found my Prince Charming and I vowed to learn from all the weddings I’d attended to ensure that our wedding guests had an amazing time.
Here are my top ten tips to keeping your wedding guests happy and ensure your wedding is remembered as a great day by all:
1. Keep your guests fed, watered and entertained then you pretty much can’t go wrong. Fail at one of these and they’ll get twitchy, tetchy or bored. Remember everyone loves free things! If you can’t afford to pay for the bar all night then perhaps welcome drinks and some with the meal will be a nice gesture. Plus as someone with dietary requirements, I’m always impressed (& relieved) when different diets are considered at a wedding (which means I’ve got something to eat to soak up all that free drink!)
2. Keep them busy. No one likes to sit around for too long. Getting them involved and interacting will keep them engaged. Perhaps a video diary room for them to leave you a message or a photo booth for some fun. Don’t forget the children too with activities to keep their minds busy (and parents happy!)
3. Set expectations early. People are generally happier if they know what is happening and when. Give them a schedule with their invites (or in the order of service) so they at least know when the food will be served. Make it really clear in your invites who exactly is invited and to which parts. I was invited to a wedding a few years ago and the invite didn’t have any names on it. We didn’t know if our children were included let alone if we were both invited! Worse still, make it clear if they’re only being invited to the evening part rather than all day. Nothing worse than having to embarrassingly turn away guests.
4. Give clear and consistent communications. Make sure you say the same things to everyone. Don’t have different rules for different people. Or if you do, be clear why this is the case. For example, if you’ve said that it’s a kid free wedding but then you let one of your out of town guests bring their little ones with them. Or I once went to a wedding and wondered why so many of the guests were dressed in black and white. It turns out that one side of the family had been told that the couple had requested a colour scheme. However this message hadn’t been translated to all the guests including me (in my green and brown dress) and my husband (in his blue suit) plus the rest of our side of the family!
5. Choose your guests carefully. They say that the enjoyment of most gatherings can be made or broken depending on who is there. People do really make the party! So the all important seating plan can dictate what kind of a day your guests might have. Often I’ve been a guest at the evening part of a wedding and not really known anyone except for the happy couple. It’s been really hard to integrate with the day guests when you don’t know them and when you’re coming to the show late. So make sure that you can offer the evening guests a flavour of the day too. Perhaps save cutting your cake and first dance so they get to experience some ‘wedding’ elements in their experience too.
6. Inject some humour in to the day. Honestly the best weddings I’ve been to have been when I’ve been belly laughing at the speeches. Not the ones where I’ve been cringing at the inappropriateness, or yawning at the length of the speech or felt like an outsider as I didn’t understand any of the in jokes. Laughter is great and it’s really important to make the day fun for everyone but not just for a select few.
7. Show your love and gratitude. Guests may have come a long way, taken time off work or paid to stay over. So let them know how much you appreciate their support and presence either with words or presents. Isn’t it great to see a happy couple so in love and making this commitment. As a guest, I’ve definitely enjoyed weddings where the couple really look in love (it’s never good if you’re doubting whether it will work!) Just like the royal kiss on the balcony, we’re all waiting for the ‘you may now kiss the bride’ moment after your vows.
8. Pick the perfect place to say I do. Your guests don’t want to be freezing in a marquee in the winter or glomping across a muddy field in stilettos. If you’re going with something a little out of the norm then give your guests warning on different attire to wear or provide blankets, flip flops, sunglasses etc to cover the different eventualities. A wonderful trend at the moment is the weekend wedding when you pick a venue where your guests can stay over too. This is great to prolong the festivities and give you more opportunities to relax and mingle with all your guests.
9. Personalise the day. Where you can, try to make the experience individual for your guests so they feel special and an important part of your day. I once went to a wedding and the favours were all bars of chocolate. The wrapper was printed with a photograph of me as a child with the groom (who I’d know since I was very small). Every favour was personal to each guest and how they knew the couple. It still makes me smile thinking about it today.
10. Make it affordable. Think about your guests’ wallets when you’re planning the day. How much does a pint of beer cost at the bar? How much is a room to stay? How far away is the venue from where they live? It may put some guests off or leave a bad taste if things are too expensive or not good value for money. You may look at your guests with dollar signs over the head when you’re writing the guest list but they’re weighing up the expensive of coming too. Make it worth their while and give them a great wedding to remember.
wedding guest list
There’s no doubt about it, social media has changed (and continues to shape the way) we communicate, our relationships, our society and culture. It is a part of our every day lives and so it’s no wonder that you’ll want to think about the role that social media will play on your wedding day too.
About a third of the world uses some sort of social media. And the age of technology that we live in has meant that we are rarely uncontactable. There is a sense of urgency in our communicating and the need to share. Social media has enabled us to publish and share our lives not only with our nearest and dearest but to a wider audience too. We can share events, connect with people and it certainly has made the world feel like a smaller place.
Whether you are going to embrace social media or shun it for your wedding, here are my top ten tips and modern day etiquette suggestions to make the most of social media on your special day.
