There’s no doubt about it, social media has changed (and continues to shape the way) we communicate, our relationships, our society and culture. It is a part of our every day lives and so it’s no wonder that you’ll want to think about the role that social media will play on your wedding day too.
About a third of the world uses some sort of social media. And the age of technology that we live in has meant that we are rarely uncontactable. There is a sense of urgency in our communicating and the need to share. Social media has enabled us to publish and share our lives not only with our nearest and dearest but to a wider audience too. We can share events, connect with people and it certainly has made the world feel like a smaller place.
I believe that social media has also made the news more relevant and accessible to more people, as well as personalising and interacting with announcements.
We are now living in the moment (all be it a digital one) with a need for things to be instant and live. We are also becoming more visual in our communications and video is the king of social media right now.
Whether you are going to embrace social media or shun it for your wedding, here are my top ten tips and modern day etiquette suggestions to make the most of social media on your special day.
Top tips for social media at your wedding day:
Make sure you keep things personal – perhaps tell your closest family and friends in person before changing your status on social media or posting an engagement ring photo.
Don’t rely on social media for all your wedding communications – think about your guest list as it may cover people from a variety of generations and technological abilities. Not everyone will have access or regular use of social media. A physical invitation will mean everyone on your list gets the same message.
Don’t overshare on social media – keep an element of surprise beforehand. Also you don’t want to make any of your social media followers feel left out if they haven’t been invited to your big day.
If you feel like going tech free then have an unplugged wedding – just make sure you set expectations with your guests early on.
Create a hashtag or a personalised Snapchat filter – share the # on your invitations, order of service and on signs around the reception. Then collect images on a social media wall at the reception or an online wedding album.
Use Facebook live or Periscope – for those guests that can’t make it (or live far away) consider streaming your wedding live so that they can still experience the day.
Give a selfie stick as wedding favours – instead of the old disposable cameras on each table at the reception, give guests a selfie stick or a list of photos to try and capture.
Etiquette tip – guests should wait until after the bride or groom have posted anything before putting up shots of the happy couple.
Keep a traditional photographer – nothing beats professional photographs! And guests, please make sure that you don’t block the photographer on the day. The couple want to see your faces not your phones when they look back on their photographs. Chose a moment in the ceremony when guests can take their own photos.
Enjoy the moment – above all remember to live the day and not just be recording events. Put the phone down for one day and make the most of having all the people you love in one room at the same time to celebrate your special day.
DRESS IN WHITE: Will your dress be white/ivory or will you break with tradition?
MATCHING BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES: Will your bridesmaids have matching dresses or will you mismatch styles or colours?
UNLUCKY TO SEE BRIDE BEFORE THE WEDDING: Will you opt to capture a ‘first look’ shot instead of following this tradition?
THROWING THE BOUQUET: Will you throw your flowers or give them to longest married guests after anniversary dance?
TOP TABLE: Will you sit your parents, best man and chief bridesmaid at the front or have your own table to yourself?
WEDDING GIFTS: Will you ask for things for the home or experiences or honeymoon vouchers?
Whichever customs and traditions you decide to incorporate into your big day, Hanami Dream wish you health, wealth, happiness and all the very best in your married life.
After you’ve decided when your special day will be and sorted the major elements of your guest list, venue and budget (or the who, where and how much of what I term the ‘holy trinity of wedding planning‘) then you’re in to the nitty gritty of things.
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Once you’re over the hurdle of preparing your guest list and the headache of waiting (and chasing) for RSVPs, it will be time to decide where to seat your nearest and dearest for your wedding breakfast.
Take a look at our 10 point guide on how (and where) to seat your wedding guests to help you through what can be another tricky juggling act of keeping everyone happy. There’s etiquette, tradition, logistics, safety & practicalities to consider (as well as who Aunty Vera may have fallen out with) so that all can see and been seen by the bridal party.
1) size and shape
Firstly, establish what is possible at your venue. What could you fit in to the room? What is already available there? You need to think about the space, tables and chairs. Taking in to account the size, shape and style of these three elements. Count the number of tables and determine how many chairs can fit around the different shapes of table. This amount should accommodate your final guest numbers.
2) style of meal
How you lay out the tables can be dictated by the style of food that you will be serving. For example, if you’re having a casual meal or buffet then you may opt for guests to pick their own places when they’ve got their food rather than a formal sit down meal where everyone has an allocated place setting. To get guests to mix up, you could provide a bowl of numbers and people pick out their table number as they enter the reception.
3) structure
The formation of the tables will depend on their shape and the atmosphere you want to create. Family style sharing meals work well on rectangle banquet tables with benches on either side. Laying long tables in a horseshoe or T shape creates a focal point of the bridal party. Whilst round tables surrounded by chairs can cluster groups together for good interaction. Square tables give a great modern feel and don’t feel restricted to use a uniform type of table – mix and match shapes and sizes to suit your needs.
4) standard
Traditionally there is a head (or top) table containing at least the happy couple. In addition, etiquette suggests their parents, along with chief bridesmaid and groomsman join this long table facing the guests so that everyone can view the top table (eg Chief Bridesmaid, Groom’s Father, Bride’s Mother, Groom, Bride, Bride’s Father, Groom’s Mother, Best Man). Working away from this focal point, others from the wedding party are grouped near to the top table, followed by closest relatives, then friends, and finally colleagues.
5) substitutes
Let’s face it, you can have whoever you want on the top table (or no top table at all!) Nowadays there are many alternative schemes to factor in different family circumstances and partnerships. The top table could be round rather than rectangle so the wedding party get to chat too. The top table could just contain the two most important members of the day whilst the rest of the bridal party host their own family members on separate tables. Sometimes brides and grooms choose to sit at a different table for each course to mingle with all their guests.
6) special considerations
As well as knowing how many people you’re seating, you’ll need to factor in any accessibility requirements for any young, elderly or incapacitated guests such as incorporating requests for highchairs. People with any tasks to carry out during the meal or speeches should be able to get out of their place easily too. There’s always a temptation to match make with a singles table, though my advice would always be to keep people with people they already know (and like). Tradition suggests alternating men and women around a table.
7) system
How to plan who sits where is a fine and delicate art often thrown by last minute cancellations and feuds. There are lots of online planning tools, apps and software available to help solve this issue. However, nothing beats a large piece of paper containing the floor plan of your room with blank tables drawn in the right places. Then get some small coloured sticky tabs in perhaps three colours (for men, women and children). Write each guest’s name on the relevant coloured tab and stick these around the table templates until you’re happy with the seating combinations.
8) selecting tables
There are many options and ways to personalise your tables including the names you give each table or how you number them. One of my favourites at the moment is showing a picture of both of the happy couple at the age that the table number corresponds with.
9) seating plan
There a couple of options to ensure that guests get to the table you’ve allocated to them. Firstly, you can display a seating plans of the different tables listing which guests are sat at each table. Ideally have a couple of these plans to avoid everyone bunching around one and placing it outside of the room for people to view it ahead of time to avoid a rush on entry. Alternatively, escort cards can be displayed (perhaps alphabetically) which each contain the name of a guest along with the table name/number where they are to be seated. In both scenarios, place name cards on the table can show guests where to sit or they could pick their own seat.
10) seating at ceremonies
It’s not just the reception to consider but you may want to offer a modern take on where people sit at the ceremony too. Traditionally in a religious building, the Bride’s family sit on the left of the premises and the Groom’s sit on the right. However, many people are asking their guests to pick a seat not a side. Plus if the venue is less formal you can move away from rows of chairs and opt for a circle around the couple or even a spiral of chairs working inwards to the couple.
There’s no doubt about it, social media has changed (and continues to shape the way) we communicate, our relationships, our society and culture. It is a part of our every day lives and so it’s no wonder that you’ll want to think about the role that social media will play on your wedding day too.
About a third of the world uses some sort of social media. And the age of technology that we live in has meant that we are rarely uncontactable. There is a sense of urgency in our communicating and the need to share. Social media has enabled us to publish and share our lives not only with our nearest and dearest but to a wider audience too. We can share events, connect with people and it certainly has made the world feel like a smaller place.
Whether you are going to embrace social media or shun it for your wedding, here are my top ten tips and modern day etiquette suggestions to make the most of social media on your special day.
6) special considerations
