intimate Archives - Hanami Dream | Cotswolds copywriter

Inspiration: wedding under new rules in Oxfordshire

by Hanami Dream | 4, August, 2020 | blog, inspiration

Just one month ago, the wedding of Hannah and Richard was held at stunning Friars Court in Oxfordshire. A no frills or fuss, intimate ceremony on Saturday 4th July 2020 saw one of the first civil weddings in Oxfordshire under the new social distancing rules.

new rules

After a hiatus of nearly 4 months of paused and postponed weddings in England due to lockdown, the 4th July marked the date for weddings to take place again. Now with a number of restrictions that couples must follow in order for their wedding to go ahead safely.

By 1st August, we thought that things would be easing further around restrictions for wedding receptions. But these are still limited to only two households indoors in most parts of the UK, or up to 6 people from different households outdoor. Whilst social distanced ceremonies can currently be held for up to 30 people.

new plans

This happy couple decided to go ahead with their original date of 4th July to perform the legal part of the wedding. Their wedding had been booked since last August following their engagement in Italy on 5th July 2019.

Hannah and Richard chose Saturday 4th July as it was the closest date to the first anniversary of the proposal. They were one of the 2020 couples who held onto the hope they’d have the entirety of their wedding on their planned date for as long as possible.

As the date was significant to them, they decided to have the civil ceremony at the very least. So they were happy to go along with whatever was necessary to make that happen.

new dates

They’re still hoping they’ll have the planned reception this September. However they are mindful that this may not be possible in the current climate or it may need to be a significantly pared down version.

They have managed to move all their suppliers to 19th September 2020 in the hope that they will be able to celebrate with friends and family. They also plan to have a mock ceremony so Hannah can walk down the aisle in her dress and recreate the ceremony again. The venue and suppliers were great in accommodating the new date which instantly put the couples’ minds at rest.

Their reasoning behind going ahead with a ceremony on their original date of 4th July is so that they don’t need to delay starting a family. If the worst case scenario happens and the September date is not able to go ahead and they have to delay until 2021, they could start a family in the knowledge that they are already married.

new guest list

Originally, they had planned for 85 of their family and friends to attend with a number travelling in from France, Dubai and Canada.

To meet new rules, they needed to reduce the number of guests and households. However to avoid any upset when choosing witnesses from family and friends they opted to prune this to the bare minimum. They asked the two venue owners to be witnesses. And when the photographer had to drop out (due to insurance issues), the venue also stepped in as wedding photographer too (with a zoom lens to keep distant). So, along with two registrars there was a total of 6 people present (two registrars, two witnesses, plus the bride and groom).

new focus

No big grand traditional entrance for this wedding as the couple arrived together in their own car. But the venue still bestowed a grand setting and provided the couple use of it’s grounds for this special day.

Friars Court in Clanfield is a privately owned, mid-17th century house, in 600 acres of beautiful Oxfordshire countryside. Friars Court was granted a Civil Ceremony licence in 2003 and in that same year set up Silver Pear Weddings. Since then they have worked with over 350 couples celebrating their marriage at Friars Court.

This certainly was the smallest civil ceremony the venue has ever hosted in nearly 20 years and is the first time they’ve acted as witnesses, for what turned out to be the second civil ceremony across the county under the new rules.

Unfortunately the 2020 season will the final one for Silver Pear Weddings hosting wedding receptions at Friars Court as from 2021 onwards they will purely host ceremonies.

minimal decor

As this was just a ceremony the couple did not unleash their full plans and colour scheme, which they will hold for a later celebration.

So the venue set the room out based on plans and guidance that the registrars provided. Without decor, the room looked quite bare so the owners arranged a few flowers from the venue’s garden for the registrars’ table.

something old (not new)

Both bride and groom were dressed in smart casual clothes. Hannah wore a full-length lilac party dress, a bridesmaid style dress in keeping with her bridesmaid colour scheme. Richard wore a work suit. They are saving their wedding outfits for their celebration day.

new ceremony time

Hannah and Richard were offered the choice of either an 11am or 3pm wedding ceremony time. They chose 3pm to avoid rushing about in the morning. The first ceremony in the county was at 1pm. So if they’d gone with an 11am slot they’d have been the first civil ceremony in Oxfordshire but were still the second one.

The registrars had been in charge of writing the guidelines for ‘weddings during a pandemic’ so they’d specifically requested to come (rather than the usual registrars from Witney) to road test their amended version of a ceremony to see how well it worked.

new format

The presentation of the bride was omitted because there wasn’t anyone there to ‘give her away’ and under current guidelines, unless a bride lives in the same household, then walking in with anyone other than her future husband isn’t permitted.

With the ceremony being just the couple, it was also decided to eliminate playing any music. So as their interviews took place where they were going to stand for the ceremony, there was no point in any entrance. So the registrar went straight into the welcome and whipped through the abbreviated ceremony in no time.

The ceremony itself was a lot shorter than you might expect for the obvious reasons of there being no guests to tell stories about where the couple met, where the proposal took place and any other details for the registrar to share. The registrars were lovely and made the couple feel comfortable throughout. Richard said that:

‘There was an odd sort of feeling to proceedings as you are extremely aware that there are only 4 other people in the room, however with that said there was an intimate feeling and a truly personal experience had by doing it this way. It reminds you that this day is absolutely just for the two of you.’

Most of the ceremony was the same as usual; using the short option of “I am” (free to marry) and “I do” (take this man/woman). Keeping that part short is intended to reduce the length of the ceremony as the registrar did mention about the unfortunate necessity of keeping things ‘short and sweet’. The registrars weren’t exactly rushing the ceremony but they didn’t take their time either in order to reduce the risk of exposure by making the services as brief as possible.

new accessories

Hannah and Richard were asked beforehand whether they would like the registrars with or without masks. Whilst not a problem at this ceremony, the registrars voiced their concerns about the new rules and envisaged possible difficulties in ensuring guests staying exactly where they are put.

As the registrar leading the ceremony was on one side of the room and the couple on the other well side (more than 2 metres from either registrar) she removed her mask which meant she was far more audible. The registrar doing the writing kept her mask on for the duration.

The couple signed the register both having to wear a bright red rubber glove before handling the pen (the registrars had a box of them) and all commented on how odd that felt. The gloves were meant to come off for signing photos but instead the pair waved their gloved hands at the camera.

Certificates are posted to couples after their weddings at the moment so there was no presentation to wind the ceremony up. However, the registrars did make their congratulations and then left so the couple could go out for a few photos in the grounds before the rain started.

newly weds

Hannah and Richard wandered the grounds whilst the venue owner very kindly took some photos to remember the day. They then popped back inside with their own picnic hamper to have a little DIY afternoon tea for two in the middle of the empty Garden Room.

All the traditional milestone elements of a wedding reception (cake cutting, first dance, entertainment, favours etc) have all been saved for their celebration later in the year.

Afterwards they headed off for a couple of nights in Malmesbury.

Our fingers are crossed for 19th September or sometime in 2021 for their sequel wedding.

I’d love to hear if you’ve had a wedding recently and to hear how you’ve creatively dealt with the restrictions.

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Alternatives to walking down the aisle with your father

by Hanami Dream | 4, July, 2020 | blog, tips

social distancing rules

Due to the current government restrictions for weddings during the corona virus pandemic, you may have to rethink some of your wedding plans. Unless you live in the same household as your father, you may need to omit the tradition of walking down the aisle arm in arm.

Photography by Squib Photography

walking down the aisle

In order to keep within social distancing rules, you may want to think more creatively with some novel ways to be given away:

walk yourself
walk with a pet
both have an entrance, one after the other
both walk down together
both enter from either side of altar
processional bridal party followed by guests
make the guests walk in with couple already waiting at the altar
walk around seats set in a circle or spiral
video montage played on a screen of those who can’t be at the ceremony
make a bouquet whilst collecting flowers from guests (one for when social distance restrictions are lifted)

Let’s rewrite wedding traditions. This is the chance to do things differently – your way.

I’d love to hear if you’re having a wedding in the next few months and to hear how you’ve creatively dealt with the restrictions.

Photography by Squib Photography

Images on this page taken by Squib Photography from Hanami Dream’s secret garden styled shoot at Cogges Manor Farm. See all the fabulous suppliers that were involved in this styled shoot.

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New rules for weddings during a pandemic

by Hanami Dream | 3, July, 2020 | blog, tips

Fourth of July

We’ve now been in lockdown for over 100 days, due to the Corona virus (COVID-19), and things are beginning to slowly ease to allow the economy to kick start again (for now at least).

The fourth of July will be a monumental date for most of England as more things open up. But rather than a focus on independence, the day also marks the time that couples can start to tie the knot again.

Since 23rd March, weddings and civil partnerships have been banned in England due to lockdown. But from 4th July they can now take place again. However there will be a number of restrictions in order for these to be able to go ahead, providing they are safe and follow guidelines.

Photography by Squib Photography

The new guidance from the government on weddings and civil partnerships in England includes:

No more than 30 people in total at ceremony

This not only includes the couple, family and friends but also any suppliers, officiants and witnesses (but not including staff at the venue). Venues will keep a register of every visitor for at least 21 days for track and trace purposes. Some venues will be also be able to help with remote participation at home for those guests that can’t be there in person.

Photography by Squib Photography

No wedding receptions

At most, couples can hold a very small reception after the ceremony. Although this can be with only two households indoors, or up to 6 people from different households outdoors. Face to face seating is being discouraged. On the adverse, this could be a real money saving aspect as the reception is often the most expensive part of a wedding.

Photography by Squib Photography

No food and drink

Nothing is supposed to be consumed as part of the event. Meanwhile, there is some discussion at the moment about reducing vat on the hospitality industry sector (to only 5%) to encourage spending. All this will help the wedding budget and will help couples save up to possibly have a sequel wedding or separate reception next year or at another time.

Photography by Squib Photography

Not too long

The advice is to keep things to a minimum and mainly keep to the legal bits. The official bit is actually only about 10 minutes long. Any order of service should be one use and guests will be encouraged to take their sheets away with them.

Photography by Squib Photography

No walking down the aisle

Unless you live in the same household as your father, you may need to omit the tradition of walking down the aisle arm in arm. However, lockdown has certainly got people thinking more creatively, so I’m sure there will be some novel ways to be given away within social distancing rules. Look out for my alternative suggestions for this part of the ceremony coming soon.

Photography by Squib Photography

No singing

To avoid the spread of the virus via droplets, you can’t raise your voices to say your vows and one person is to speak at a time (or you may need Perpspex clear screens). Singing will not be allowed and instruments that are blown into aren’t permitted either. You are able to have organ music or you can use recordings instead. But you can not play loud music, as this would mean that people may need to shout to be heard or lean in to hear.

Photography by Squib Photography

Hand washing

On top of the usual advice, handwashing will be especially important before and after exchanging rings. And rings shouldn’t be handled by too many people either.

Photography by Squib Photography

Social distancing

Staying apart from people is still the key message and guests are advised to keep to the 2 metre rule (or 1 metre plus extra safety measures such as face masks or screens). Venues are being encouraged to improve their ventilation and to tape floors to help people keep their distance. Whilst you won’t have the stress of the seating plan at a reception, you may want to think about how and where people sit in the church or ceremony venue. Household/family groups could sit together closer than 2 metres, whilst others will need to be socially distanced from other households.

Photography by Squib Photography

No certainty

The biggest concern at the moment is the uncertainty of how long these types of measures will be in place. Lockdown could return (nationally or locally) at any time or restrictions could ease further. There is no knowing how long we will need to live with these rules. Some couples may be nervous and so may want more transparency and flexibility when booking. Couples need to have confidence to pay deposits and understand how contingency plans will be handled by venues and suppliers.

Photography by Squib Photography

Weddings during a pandemic

Weddings will look and feel very different for a little while and may not suit everyone. They will certainly be more intimate and personal. A limited guest list may ease some couples’ stresses whilst some of those with large families may be at a disadvantage.

Perhaps some will find weddings more clinical and less celebratory. A church service could feel more like a registry office style wedding, with just the legal bits and no singing.

Unless this is your only chance (due to ill health, work, forces or travel commitments) then what is a few months or a year to wait in the grand scheme of 40 or 50 years together? But if you are desperate to get married, then these are the types of restrictions that will have to be considered as the current norm.

Photography by Squib Photography

A break from tradition

However, perhaps these restrictions will focus couples on what a wedding really means to them. They will need to think about what is the most important part for them – whether that’s the ceremony, the start of a marriage, or a party and time to celebrate with friends and family.

This could be the time that wedding traditions change. This will challenge wedding traditions and force couples to think in new ways to hold their wedding. Suppliers and venues will need to adapt in order to survive.

So what does this mean for the future of weddings? At the moment, I keep coming back to the last scene of the third Back to the Future film. Doc Brown explains that the future hasn’t been written yet. ‘No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one. Both of you.’

Photography by Squib Photography

This is the chance to do things differently – your way.

I’d love to hear if you’re having a wedding in the next few months and how you’re creatively dealing with the restrictions.

Photography by Squib Photography

Images on this page taken by Squib Photography from Hanami Dream’s secret garden styled shoot at Cogges Manor Farm. See all the fabulous suppliers that were involved in this styled shoot.

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5 reasons tiny weddings rock

by Hanami Dream | 10, June, 2020 | blog, guest post, tips

Tiny wedding trend

Before coronovirus threw wedding plans up in the air, couples were already thinking about down sizing their weddings and decreasing wedding guest numbers. And now this could be a forced decision, so micro or tiny weddings are certainly a trend that will be at the forefront, especially when people’s planning can come off pause.

Micro weddings keep things small, personal and meaningful. Not always in the extreme of eloping but a step away from traditions and expectations. Making the day a wonderful experience for everyone, good value for money and would take possible social distancing guidelines into consideration.

Tiny weddings could range from having a dinner party in a private room, a picnic in a park, a weekend sleepover in a stately home or a destination wedding (when/if allowed) for your close friends and family.

Bigger doesn’t always have to be better. Here are 5 reasons why tiny weddings rock from Carly Straughan (from Epic Elopement) who, along with Claire Ady (Wed in Central Park), host Tiny Weddings – an exciting style of wedding fair for small, intimate weddings and elopements.

1. You get to spend the whole day with your favourite person.

When else do you and your future husband or wife get to spend a whole day just loving each other, celebrating your time together and thinking about your future? With fewer guests to entertain you will spend less time worrying about other people and more time with the person that matters the most. There are also some great studies that show the more intimate your wedding the more likely your marriage is to succeed (surely something to do with the stress of planning a big wedding!)

2. You will avoid the most common planning nightmares.

The hard parts of planning are almost always not related to making your marriage happen. The seating plan, the choice of dining options or what sort of music to play to please everyone during a 4 hour reception are avoided when you have a small group of close family and friends to entertain. Think of your celebrations as less of an operational ordeal and more of a larger dinner party and suddenly it all makes sense.

3. You can spend your money more wisely.

Having a small wedding or elopement may not even mean spending less than you would have spent on a big wedding. The difference is that you get to spend your money on the things that are important to you as a couple. Try making a list of things that you absolutely need to make your day work for you and then set your budget against that. If the dinner is a big part of your day then spend your budget on great food. Feeding 30 people caviar and champagne is much more affordable than serving 150 people a chicken dinner. If travel is your thing, a smaller wedding day can allow you to blow the budget on a mega honeymoon or even allow you to take your wedding overseas with a small party all expenses paid.

4. You won’t explain your quirks to anyone.

It’s much easier to share your plans with a smaller party and explain your choices to those who are invested in you as a couple. If you want the whole wedding party to wear a certain colour, travel to a remote location or do something seemingly random that brings you joy, it’s much easier to get buy in when you’re inviting only close family and friends. It’s going to be more difficult to explain your reasoning behind your choices if you have all your second cousins and great aunts chiming in. Spend your time and effort on the people and things that bring you joy, not arguing about chair covers with Sharon from work.

5. You’ll find suppliers who absolutely love their jobs.

If you’re looking to work with passionate individuals who will put as much effort into your wedding day as you do, then having an intimate wedding is more likely to help you find them. Larger suppliers need you to fulfil minimum orders, cover overheads for their venues and feed 100+ people to pay their bills. Small vendors usually have lower overheads, less staff costs and would be delighted to hear about a no stress wedding with under 50 guests.

About Tiny Weddings

Tiny Weddings is a joint venture between Carly Straughan (from Epic Elopement) and Claire Ady (Wed in Central Park). Having both had intimate weddings and working in the industry, exhibited and visited wedding fairs for years, Claire and Carly realised there was a space in the market for a fair dedicated to those who traditionally are ignored by the big wedding industry. Tiny Weddings Fair is the anti-dote to the mega fair that has grown up in recent years, bringing together vendors who specialise in intimate ceremonies and elopements around the world, whilst also hosting talks from experts in their field who can help couples find their own Tiny Wedding inspiration.

They held a very successful Tiny Weddings Fair on Sunday 30 September 2018, 10am-4pm at Wycombe Swan Theatre, High Wycombe HP11 2XE.

Look out for the next Tiny Weddings Fair coming soon (hopefully in the not too distant future, all being well).

About Tiny Weddings’s hosts

Claire is a wedding planner, specialising in elopements and small destination weddings in Central Park, New York, for couples from all over the world. She has been doing this for over six years and has planned almost two hundred and fifty weddings so far. All of her weddings have had under fifty guests and most have between five and fifteen guests. She knows the tiny wedding market well. She knows what drives a couple to choose a tiny wedding and what values and priorities are popular for the couples that take this route.

Carly has been blogging about elopements since her own elopement in 2015. Beginning her career in wedding journalism, Carly moved into wedding planning and events management but always knew it wasn’t her scene. Carly has planned and executed weddings, fairs and events for some of the UK’s most recognisable venues and attractions and continues to work with events venues day to day as a consultant. When her own marriage was imminent she quickly realised there wasn’t much choice for those who wanted a great wedding without a huge guest list, Carly began seeking out suppliers of tiny wedding and elopements around the world and the rest is history.

@Tiny_Weddings

@TinyWedsFair

First published 17 September 2018. Updated 10 June 2020.

Inspiration: intimate castle wedding

by Hanami Dream | 22, July, 2018 | blog, inspiration

A small wedding for a big day in February 2018 saw this intimate (and impromptu) castle wedding of Sally and Gavin at Thornbury Castle in Gloucestershire.

: Photography by Alice Morgan Photography

: Photography by Alice Morgan Photography

: Photography by Alice Morgan Photography

: Photography by Alice Morgan Photography

: Photography by Alice Morgan Photography

: Photography by Alice Morgan Photography

Intimate wedding trend

On average, wedding guest numbers are decreasing and micro weddings are on the rise; with couples wishing to keep things small, personal and more meaningful. Not quite on the extremes of eloping, as the nuptials are far from secret, but a step away from traditions and expectations. Making the day a real lavish experience for everyone and good value for money. It’s like having a dinner party in a private room for your close friends and family.

Colour scheme

This intimate castle wedding (of less than 30 guests) was a luxurious affair with a rich, dark colour scheme of navy blue and emerald green. With lush tactile elements of velvet bridesmaid dresses, satin ribbons and faux fur wraps.

Venue

The couple chose Thornbury Castle for their wedding as the bride loves history and castles, whilst the groom loves fine food and wine. It was also a special venue where they had stayed together before.

Attire

The bride and bridesmaids got ready in the Henry VIII suite with it’s spectacular full length windows. She wore a stunning dress from Pronovias with a huge statement bow and accessorised with a custom-made ivory faux-fur wrap to bare the wintry elements of the day.

Décor

To set the scene, the couple sent out navy invitations with a green satin ribbon (to match the bride’s bouquet) and a crest from the county of the bride’s place of birth. The heraldry was a lovely nod to the décor that guests would see inside the venue. The traditional invites had handwritten names, a personal note and a copy of the menu.

Place settings were individually quilled, glued and sprayed to look like chess pieces, with names written on cards by the bride.

Minimal décor was required in the Tudor Hall and they choose not to add anything to the Lounge or Boyling House as they let the impressive venue do all the talking.

Ceremony

The wedding ceremony took place in the lounge at Thornbury Castle where guests sat on comfortable settees and arm chairs. Photographs then followed around the castle and in the gorgeous grounds.

Their drinks reception took place in the Boyling House where they enjoyed canapés, fizz and a caricaturist and close-up magician for entertainment.

The wedding breakfast took place in the Tudor Hall where all 27 guests sat around one table with an open fire and enjoyed a 5 course dinner service with a break in the middle for a magical parlour show.

Cake

The lavish five tier cake was decorated a sumptuous navy blue colour and adorned with edible pearls. It stood decadently, mirroring its surroundings and the hidden grandeur inside. Each tier revealing different delicious flavours of chocolate with chocolate and cherry ganache, lemon with white chocolate ganache, and a traditional fruit cake.

Despite there being a small number of attending guests, this was a cake to feed many more. The couple had little cake boxes at the ready with coordinating ribbons and napkins for the mother of the bride to give to local friends and family who didn’t attend.

Accommodation

Guests stayed over at the hotel in the exquisite bedrooms and in the morning they enjoyed breakfast together in the Baron’s Sitting Room. Meanwhile the Bride and Groom stayed in the Tower Suite (one room at the top of the tower with around 70 steps to reach it) in the golden four-poster bed.