“Thank you for your wonderful advice and help in getting us started on our wedding planning journey.
Having your support and expertise on hand helped to minimise the fear of a blank canvas and meant that we could focus on making the fun decisions without worrying about missing a step.
Your enthusiasm and passion for weddings – in all their forms – inspired us to get stuck-in and enjoy the whole process, and your fabulous tools and documents have been the absolute mainstay of all our planning! Thank you again!”
Verity & Paul, ISIS Farmhouse, Oxford – August 2016
Once you’re over the hurdle of preparing your guest list and the headache of waiting (and chasing) for RSVPs, it will be time to decide where to seat your nearest and dearest for your wedding breakfast.
Take a look at our 10 point guide on how (and where) to seat your wedding guests to help you through what can be another tricky juggling act of keeping everyone happy. There’s etiquette, tradition, logistics, safety & practicalities to consider (as well as who Aunty Vera may have fallen out with) so that all can see and been seen by the bridal party.
1) size and shape
Firstly, establish what is possible at your venue. What could you fit in to the room? What is already available there? You need to think about the space, tables and chairs. Taking in to account the size, shape and style of these three elements. Count the number of tables and determine how many chairs can fit around the different shapes of table. This amount should accommodate your final guest numbers.
2) style of meal
How you lay out the tables can be dictated by the style of food that you will be serving. For example, if you’re having a casual meal or buffet then you may opt for guests to pick their own places when they’ve got their food rather than a formal sit down meal where everyone has an allocated place setting. To get guests to mix up, you could provide a bowl of numbers and people pick out their table number as they enter the reception.
3) structure
The formation of the tables will depend on their shape and the atmosphere you want to create. Family style sharing meals work well on rectangle banquet tables with benches on either side. Laying long tables in a horseshoe or T shape creates a focal point of the bridal party. Whilst round tables surrounded by chairs can cluster groups together for good interaction. Square tables give a great modern feel and don’t feel restricted to use a uniform type of table – mix and match shapes and sizes to suit your needs.
4) standard
Traditionally there is a head (or top) table containing at least the happy couple. In addition, etiquette suggests their parents, along with chief bridesmaid and groomsman join this long table facing the guests so that everyone can view the top table (eg Chief Bridesmaid, Groom’s Father, Bride’s Mother, Groom, Bride, Bride’s Father, Groom’s Mother, Best Man). Working away from this focal point, others from the wedding party are grouped near to the top table, followed by closest relatives, then friends, and finally colleagues.
5) substitutes
Let’s face it, you can have whoever you want on the top table (or no top table at all!) Nowadays there are many alternative schemes to factor in different family circumstances and partnerships. The top table could be round rather than rectangle so the wedding party get to chat too. The top table could just contain the two most important members of the day whilst the rest of the bridal party host their own family members on separate tables. Sometimes brides and grooms choose to sit at a different table for each course to mingle with all their guests.
6) special considerations
As well as knowing how many people you’re seating, you’ll need to factor in any accessibility requirements for any young, elderly or incapacitated guests such as incorporating requests for highchairs. People with any tasks to carry out during the meal or speeches should be able to get out of their place easily too. There’s always a temptation to match make with a singles table, though my advice would always be to keep people with people they already know (and like). Tradition suggests alternating men and women around a table.
7) system
How to plan who sits where is a fine and delicate art often thrown by last minute cancellations and feuds. There are lots of online planning tools, apps and software available to help solve this issue. However, nothing beats a large piece of paper containing the floor plan of your room with blank tables drawn in the right places. Then get some small coloured sticky tabs in perhaps three colours (for men, women and children). Write each guest’s name on the relevant coloured tab and stick these around the table templates until you’re happy with the seating combinations.
8) selecting tables
There are many options and ways to personalise your tables including the names you give each table or how you number them. One of my favourites at the moment is showing a picture of both of the happy couple at the age that the table number corresponds with.
9) seating plan
There a couple of options to ensure that guests get to the table you’ve allocated to them. Firstly, you can display a seating plans of the different tables listing which guests are sat at each table. Ideally have a couple of these plans to avoid everyone bunching around one and placing it outside of the room for people to view it ahead of time to avoid a rush on entry. Alternatively, escort cards can be displayed (perhaps alphabetically) which each contain the name of a guest along with the table name/number where they are to be seated. In both scenarios, place name cards on the table can show guests where to sit or they could pick their own seat.
10) seating at ceremonies
It’s not just the reception to consider but you may want to offer a modern take on where people sit at the ceremony too. Traditionally in a religious building, the Bride’s family sit on the left of the premises and the Groom’s sit on the right. However, many people are asking their guests to pick a seat not a side. Plus if the venue is less formal you can move away from rows of chairs and opt for a circle around the couple or even a spiral of chairs working inwards to the couple.
If your big day is just around the corner, you may be getting down to the nitty gritty of confirming all the final numbers with the caterer and venue, finishing off making favours, as well as starting the wonderful part of beautifying yourself in preparation for the big day.
Even if you’re armed with the best schedule in the world (my forte by the way!) there are always a few minor things that crop up on the day that you can’t prevent or avoid. However, you can be prepared and plan for some eventualities.
Here is Hanami Dream’s wedding day survival kit list for brides and grooms. It is not an exhaustive list but contains some items that I have found to be useful to carry (or better still get one of your trusty attendants to) on your wedding day to combat any little hiccups.
Blotting paper – dab away any sweat or ‘shine’ on your face
Chalk – to cover up any scuff marks on a white wedding dress
Double sided tape – to avoid any ‘wardrobe malfunctions’
Floss – to keep your smile looking at it’s best for all those pictures
Foot insoles – to save your feet for all that dancing
Hair bands, comb & pins – anything to keep your ‘do’ under control during the day
Mints – for fresh breath for the first kiss (as well all the meet and greats)
Nail file – to get rid of any snags
Nail vanish – clear polish is good for stopping pulls in your tights turning in to ladders
Paracetamol – light pain relief so you don’t have a headache for your first night together
Plasters – in case of blisters from your amazing wedding shoes
Rescue remedy – amazing herbal drops to keep you calm
Safety pins – in case anything comes undone
Sewing kit – for minor repairs like sewing on buttons
Straws – so your lipstick stays in tact (and not on your glass) whilst you sip your drink
Tissues – for dabbing away tears (hopefully of joy!)
Tweezers – to get rid of any stray hairs
Water – a small bottle on hand will make sure you don’t get dehydrated or a dry mouth when saying your vows
Wet wipes – to freshen up during the day!
There are plenty of pre-made kits on the market that you can buy to fulfil the need for an emergency kit. However it’s lots of fun to pick and pack your own things that are personal and relevant for you and your big day. Perhaps you could prepare some for your bridal party or maybe your bridesmaids might assemble one for you.
What would you add to this list? I’d love to hear any of your suggestions (in the comments below) for items you’d have in your wedding survival kit.
So far in the series, I’ve introduced the three key aspects of planning a wedding that pretty much affect every other thing that is connected with your big day. These are who, where and how much (otherwise known as your guests, venue and budget). This group of three things are very much intertwined. Plus when you hold your wedding is connected too! As previously covered (in the who post), nearly all the decisions you have to make about your wedding will come back to one, two or all of the elements in what I class as ‘the holy trinity of wedding planning’.
This month I’m going to tackle the where element and your all-important choice of venue (and will look at the last element in the trinity of how much another time).
Finding the right venue that is available at the right time, for the right price, for the right number of guests will be one of the first (and trickiest) parts of planning your wedding. But once you’ve decided on this element everything else will seem like a doddle! Before venue hunting, have a rough idea of your budget and how many guests you want to share the day with you. (I told you that the where, who and how much elements would come in to play.) And have an idea of when you want it to take place too. See my top tips below to give you an idea of some other factors to help you decide the place where you’ll say ‘I do’.
Nowadays, the world is pretty much your oyster in terms of options available. If you’ve seen ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’, you’ll realise that you can get married in all types of places!
1.Where in the world
Maybe you don’t fancy risking the British weather and want to get married outside of the UK, to jet off or elope. Destination weddings are certainly an attractive proposition and usually mean that all the details get handled for you by the hotel where you are staying. Plus you get your honeymoon and wedding all rolled in to one.
However, it’s worth considering that going abroad could limit who can come to the wedding (here’s the trinity coming in to play again) as not everyone will be able to afford to attend or elderly relatives may not be well enough to travel. Plus, just remember that whoever does come will be with you for your honeymoon too! Guests would have to factor in more time to attend the wedding, so the time of year that you have your wedding may also affect whether they could come.
Before booking your tickets, you should also check the legalities of your chosen country as it may be more hassle than it’s worth to be legally wed in that country (translating of documents, time and effort etc) so you may chose to do the legal bit at home before or after the glamourous beach part. (Don’t forget to make sure your passport matches the name you are travelling under – it might be best to travel under your maiden name unless there is time to get your passport changed before you travel. (See my checklist of other documents and organisations to tell about your change of name.)
2.Pinpoint the location
Once you’ve decided on whether you’re getting married home or abroad, then you need to narrow down the location and think about:
Which country?
Which region?
Which town?
Will it be in or out of town?
Would the venue be easy to find?
All these factors will impact on travel costs and timings. Guests will need to consider whether they need to factor in overnight accommodation as well. Plus if your wedding is not near where you live you may not be able to visit the venue many times before the big day or meet with suppliers face to face to view products in advance.
Think about how far away the ceremony venue is from the reception venue in terms of distance but also timings. Depending on what time of day you’re getting married it may conflict with rush hour or school runs that could affect traffic and people travelling between locations.
Wherever you get married, if you are having a Church of England wedding ceremony, your Banns (an announcement of your intention to marry) need to be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as the church where you will be getting married (if this is somewhere different). So if you plan to attend the reading of your Banns, it might be harder if you have to travel far.
3.Formalities
What kind of day do you want? Perhaps you’ve already got your Pinterest boards at the ready (goodness knows how we ever planned anything before Pinterest!) If not, how do you envisage your wedding day? The style of wedding that you want will influence the venue you choose so think about whether you want something that is:
All in one venue?
Big or small?
Relaxed or formal?
Inside or outside?
Urban or rural or coastal?
Unique or package?
Adults only or child friendly?
Organised for you or somewhere you can bring together your own group of suppliers?
What kind of theme do you want?
Vintage
Rustic
Glamourous
Country garden
Festival
Tropical
Medieval
Carnival
etc etc
4.Legally speaking
You could have a religious or civil ceremony, or perhaps have a blessing in an amazing off-the-beaten track location and do the legal bit at another time. According to the Citizens Advice Bureau in the UK, at the moment you can legally get married in the following places:
a Register Office
premises approved by the local authority such as a hotel
a church of the Church of England, Church in Wales, Church of Ireland, Presbyterian or Roman Catholic Church in N. Ireland (opposite sex couples only)
a synagogue or any other private place if both partners are Jewish
a Meeting House if one or both partners are either members of the Society of Friends (Quakers) or are associated with the Society by attending meetings
any registered religious building (England and Wales only)
the home of one of the partners if the partner is housebound or detained, for example, in prison
a place where one partner is seriously ill and not expected to recover, for example, in hospital
a licensed naval, military or air force chapel
In addition, owners of premises that are regularly open to the public (ie stately homes, hotels and civic buildings) can apply to hold civil marriages. Generally these places need to be in a permanent built structure and not an open air venue. So it’s worth checking with your dream venue to check if you could get legally married there.
5.Location, location, location
Whether you’re having a one-stop venue, or having the legal part somewhere else, you’ll want to have somewhere you can relax, eat and have fun with your guests after the ceremony. There are lots of different types of venues to chose from for your wedding reception including:
How far in advance you’re planning might open up more possibilities and how much you have to spend will offer different options. Plus the number of guests will complete the trinity of factors that will influence where you pick.
See my list of Top 20 venues in and around Oxfordshire and the Cotswolds for some local venue inspiration.
6.Size does matter
With your trusty (and let’s be honest probably controversial and stress inducing) guest list at the ready, you’ll be able to determine what size of venue you need. Other things to think about with your guests include:
Will you be feeding all the guests?
Will it be a sit down meal or buffet? (If you want to all be sat around tables that could change the number of people you can fit in a room versus if people are stood mingling around.)
Will you be having all the guests for the whole day? Or will you have some for the meal and some will come in addition later for the evening?
The size of the venue will influence how many guests you can invite but you could increase the numbers by having an evening section that doesn’t require everyone to be sat down to eat.
7.Icing on the cake
So what’s really important to you? What are the things you won’t compromise on – those things that your wedding venue must have to make your wedding perfect?
Do you require parking? How much parking is required?
What facilities are important to you?
Do you need disabled access?
How many rooms will you need?
What size of rooms are available?
Are there separate rooms for getting ready beforehand?
Is there a space for children or for elderly to escape the main area?
Will yours be the only wedding at that venue on the day?
Is there accommodation at the venue?
What facilities or factors are on your non-negotiable list?
8.The fine detail
They’re probably not deal breakers, but there may be a few minor points that could sway your decision or would give a different day depending on the decisions by individual venues about their policies on:
Confetti
Candles
Marquees
Fireworks
Helicopters
Music switch off time
Enough power
Use of your own suppliers
License for alcohol
Picking your venue may be time consuming but the effort will be worth it as the venue is probably the most expensive element of the day, so you want it to be right. Once you’ve sorted the venue (and set the date) then you can start planning all the other finer details. With the who, where and how much at the fore front of your mind, everything else can fall in to place.
In Victorian times, it was popular for people to use hidden gestures to communicate their feelings and often they would covey these with flowers as they connected them each with it’s own meaning. It was an elaborate code for lovers or suitors to send messages to each other.
Another custom is to spell out the name of your future spouse using the initial letters of the flowers. Even Kate Middleton had Sweet William flowers in her wedding bouquet to Prince William.
Nowadays, you could use the meaning of flowers to help narrow down your selection for your wedding flowers. (Don’t forget to also consider what is in season, traditions and the colours of flowers too).
Here’s a list of some meanings of flowers to help with your wedding flower decision:
Acacia: friendship
Agapanthus: secret love
Apple Blossom: good fortune
Aster: contentment
Azalea: abundance
Carnation: fascination / love
Chrysanthemum (red): I love you / sharing
Chrysanthemum (white): truth
Daffodil: regards
Dahlia: dignity and elegance
Daisy: innocence
Forget Me Not: true love / remembrance
Freesia: trust
Gypsophila: innocence
Heather: luck
Honeysuckle: generosity
Hyacinth (white): loveliness
Hydrangea: vanity
Iris: faith
Ivy: good Luck / eternal fidelity
Jasmine: amiability
Lavender: distrust
Lilac: first love
Lily: purity
Lily of the Valley: return of happiness
Lisianthus: calming / appreciation
Magnolia: perseverance
Marigold: grief
Orchid: beauty
Peony: bashful
Rose: love
Snowdrop: hope
Sunflower: adoration
Sweet pea: pleasure
Tulip: love
Violet: faithfulness
This is by know means an exhaustive list but just a starting guide to begin thinking about what meanings are associated with flowers for your big day. Take a look at some other blog posts on colours, seasonality and tradition of flowers at weddings.
As I’ve mentioned in a few recent posts, picking your wedding flowers can be daunting with so much choice. But you can narrow down your selection by looking at what is in season on your big day and you may be swayed by what the colour and meaning of the flowers are said to signify too.
Here’s a quick run down of some colours and what they symbolise:
When I was planning my own wedding, I had a vision that the church would be bursting to the rafters with copious amounts of flowers flowing from every flat surface. I wanted to go on one of our romantic country walks near where we lived and collect up armful after armful of beautiful cow parsley and adorn the church with swathes of the lovely white flowers. I wanted the feeling of a country day to be in abundance as the first impression for my guests. However, I had overlooked one very crucial fact (one which Dee McMeeking makes in her guest post this month). I got married in August and by the height of the summer there wouldn’t be any cow parsley gracing the lanes of the British countryside anymore. I had to rethink my plan and pick flowers that were in season at the time of my wedding. (Don’t worry my amazing florist made such great suggestions on flowers that the place looked amazing anyway!)
To help you start to choose your flowers, here’s a very brief guide to some of the most popular flowers and shrubs used at weddings and when they’re mainly in season in the UK (and therefore more readily available and at a more reasonable price):
SPRING
Apple Blossom
Azalea
Bluebell
Broom
Carnation
Cherry Blossom
Chrysanthemum
Clematis
Daffodil
Daisy
Forsythia
Freesia
Gladioli
Honeysuckle
Iris
Jasmine
Lilac
Lily
Orchid
Polyanthus
Rhododendron
Tulip
SUMMER
Aster
Azalea
Calla Lily
Carnation
Chrysanthemum
Cornflower
Daisy
Dahlia
Delphinium
Forget Me Not
Freesia
Fuchsia
Gerbera
Gladioli
Heather
Hollyhock
Hyacinth
Iris
Jasmine
Lavender
Lilac
Lily
Lily of the Valley
Lisianthus
Lupin
Marigold
Orchid
Peony
Rhododendron
Rose
Sunflower
Sweet Pea
Sweet William
Zinnia
AUTUMN
Chrysanthemum
Dahlia
Freesia
Gladioli
Gypsophila
Hydrangea
Iris
Lily
Lisianthus
Orchid
Rose
Sunflower
WINTER
Calla Lily
Carnation
Chrysanthemum
Forsythia
Freesia
Gerbera
Gypsophila
Iris
Lily
Lisianthus
Orchid
Rose
Snowdrop
This is by know means an exhaustive list but just a starting guide to begin thinking about what is available for your big day. Take a look at some other blog posts on colours, traditions and meaning of flowers at weddings.
The tradition of wedding flowers is steeped in symbolism and there’s lots to think about in terms of colours, meaning and seasonality.
Flowers have been a part of wedding traditions since at least Greek times when flowers would have been grouped together in a garland to be worn on the head and seen as a gift of nature. It would also contains strong smelling herbs such as garlic or chives to ward off evil spirits. In the Middle Ages, garlands were worn entwined with ears of wheat to symbolise fertility. And with the rarity of baths, the bouquets were a nice fragrant distraction from any other lingering smells!
Nowadays, wedding flowers can compliment and reflect the theme, style, colours, tone and surroundings of the day. You can include flowers in your bouquet, corsages, button holes, table decorations, flower walls, displays at venues or as confetti or petals sprinkled by the flower girls.
Flowers are a big focus in 2016 not only in the décor but with hair accessories and headwear. Plus a new trend of ring corsages is emerging and the use of wild flowers like daisies. It doesn’t all have to be about the flowers, as foliage will be as important or instead of flowers in displays. Alternatives to traditional flowers are seeing the use of succulents in bouquets, on tables and given away as favours. Plus instead of the usual confetti, there is now a herb toss as another option which gives such lovely aromas to this part of the day.
Then once you’ve finished with your bouquet (if you’ve not thrown it to your single friends), there’s also a lovely new trend emerging of the ‘lonely bouquet’ where you leave your bouquet in a public place, with a note for someone else to find – thus spreading smiles and the joy of flowers to others. (Google it, I’ve not made it up!)
We have asked the highly talented (and award winning) Dee McMeeking to help unravel some of the mysteries of picking the right flowers, at the right time of the year, for your special day.
Photo credits: peony bouquet by Dee McMeeking, Photograph thanks to Nick O’Keeffe Photography
It’s one of those questions a bride to be will always be asked – “what flowers are you having?” and I know for some of you that can be a scary question! If you are blessed to know your hypericum berries from your viburnum then you will not need to read any further. But if your floral knowledge is more daffodils and dandelions then here is my quick guide to things you need to know about seasonal wedding flowers.
1) Flowers are seasonal
In theory that means that you can’t have certain flowers at certain times of the year. Think of it like Cadbury’s crème eggs or Easter Eggs – you don’t find them easily in shops in August or December! Flowers are the same. So if you have set your heart on a bouquet of peonies and you are getting married in the UK in November you may struggle. I say ‘may’ because the majority of cut flowers we use here in the UK are imported and most flowers are in season and being grown somewhere in the world, but that will make them more expensive.
Top tip: There are a couple of great apps that can help you out here – Flowerwheel, or Flowerbook. Both allow you to see when flowers are in season and more importantly photos and colours! So if your answer to the “what flowers” question is pink and white flowers, you can take this a step further and get some ideas with super search functions by colour.
2) Flower prices vary during the year
Flowers are one of those products where the prices will vary, sometimes quite significantly, at different times of the year. It’s as much about supply and demand as it is about seasonality. There is one big hot spot in the year that I have to mention – Valentine’s Day! The price of red and pink roses can treble if not quadruple just for that week. But other flowers can be cheaper than normal – such as orchids – purely because everyone is buying red roses.
When something is in season, it is naturally growing at its peak, the price is lower. So if you work with seasonal flowers you can get more for your money.
3) Using local flowers can save you money
More and more brides are opting for an informal look with their wedding flowers. The country garden “just picked” look where your flowers look more natural and less structured. If this is your style then you can do your own wedding flowers – certainly for your wedding reception, you might want a bit of help for bouquets and button holes. There are UK based growers who will sell you seasonal flowers “by the bucket” you just pre-order them, collect them, and then display them in your own personal style. Buying direct from the grower will save you some money and you will have very fresh flowers, often picked that day. To find your local suppliers check out this sitehttp://www.flowersfromthefarm.co.uk/
I mention this purely from an experience I had with a bride who was fixed on her colour scheme of navy and gold and her flowers HAD to match to these colours. Now even at the peak of any floral growing season you are not going to get gold flowers and navy is also a tricky one too! Especially if you are in February in the UK! So if you are getting married in Spring or Winter remember that you may have to compromise with your flower choices. My solution was to go neutral with the flowers – ivory, white and creams and then add her gold and navy in through adding details such as ribbons and containers. Sometimes you may just need to be a little creative with your colour scheme.
Here is how I would approach finding out what is in season for my wedding flowers. First of all start with your wedding date and figure out which season you are getting married in. Search for “wedding flowers in season UK” now the UK bit is important because if you stumble on an American wedding blog in your search results what’s in season there may not be accurate for you! You will be surprised how many great guides there are already out there on blogs (just like this blog- check out these posts on seasonality, colours, and meaning of wedding flowers). Then I would pick out a few of these flowers that I liked and pop straight over to Pinterest and create a wedding flowers board. Search for “wedding flowers with xyz flowers” and see what emerges. When you have some visuals and you know roughly what is available at that time of the year you have enough research to either take to a florist or to source the flowers yourself!
Happy planning!
Dee McMeeking is the designer (wedding planner, wedding stylist & floral designer) behind Dee McMeeking Wedding Styling, a wedding styling & floral design business based in Warwickshire, UK & Dublin, Ireland. If you’re a creative with lots of great wedding ideas but need some help to bring your unique style to life on your wedding day, then contact Dee today at weddings@deemcmeeking.com. Dee works with clients from anywhere in the world and is waiting to hear more about your wedding styling ideas.
I’m delighted to be supporting Cogges Manor Farm with their Wedding Open Day on Sunday 16th October 11am-3pm in Witney, Oxfordshire.
6) special considerations
“(What) an amazing wedding! I was in awe of your planning, organisation and attention to detail. In fact all of us involved (were).
So far in the series, I’ve introduced the three key aspects of planning a wedding that pretty much affect every other thing that is connected with your big day. These are who, where and how much (otherwise known as your guests, venue and budget). This group of three things are very much intertwined. Plus 
3.Formalities
5.Location, location, location 
7.Icing on the cake
Picking your venue may be time consuming but the effort will be worth it as the venue is probably the most expensive element of the day, so you want it to be right. Once you’ve sorted the venue (and 
