by Hanami Dream | 16, November, 2016 | #UKWedLunch
#UKWedLunch – Wednesday 16th November 2016
As well as general wedding planning chat, there’s some #toptips as well. This week’s theme is ‘wedding vows’ #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 1: Vows are promises rather than laws nowadays #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 2: You can choose to use traditional vows including ‘obey’ and ‘worship’ #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 3: Consider alternatives of ‘to love and to honour’ or ‘love and cherish’ #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 4: In humanist or non-religious ceremonies you can personalise & write your own vows #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 5: Make sure the vows you say are values & commitments you are willing to stand by #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 6: Capture the twinkle in your eye as well as the sincerity in your heart #UKWedLunch
This week’s top tips taken from Hanami Dream blog ‘To love and to cherish’ with thanks to Humanist Ceremonies #UKWedLunch
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Next week’s theme is ‘dietary requirements’ #UKWedLunch
by Hanami Dream | 14, September, 2016 | #UKWedLunch
#UKWedLunch – Wednesday 14th September 2016
As well as general wedding planning chat, there’s some #toptips as well. This week’s theme is ‘How to keep your wedding guests happy’ #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 1: Keep your guests fed, watered and entertained – get them involved & interacting #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 2: Make it really clear in your invites who exactly is invited and to which part #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 3: Say the same things to everyone. Don’t have different rules for different people. Or if you do, be clear why. #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 4: Offer evening guests a flavour of the day too so they get to experience some ‘wedding’ elements in their experience. #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 5: Make it affordable & worth their while – give them a great wedding to remember #UKWedLunch
TOP TIP 6: Let them know how much you appreciate their support and presence either with words or present #UKWedLunch
This week’s top tips taken from Hanami Dream blog ‘How to keep your wedding guests happy‘ #UKWedLunch
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Next week’s theme is ‘Tipi Weddings’ #UKWedLunch
by Hanami Dream | 25, April, 2016 | blog, tips
Weddings are a wonderful celebration of love and marriage. And how wonderful to have all the people you care about in the same place at the same time. Along with the wedding party, the other beautifully attired guests in the room will have invested their time and money to be there on the day with you too.
At one point in my life I was a serial wedding guest and also could often be seen wearing a fancy dress stood at the front (although only as a bridesmaid all too often). Luckily I’ve now found my Prince Charming and I vowed to learn from all the weddings I’d attended to ensure that our wedding guests had an amazing time.
Here are my top ten tips to keeping your wedding guests happy and ensure your wedding is remembered as a great day by all:
1. Keep your guests fed, watered and entertained then you pretty much can’t go wrong. Fail at one of these and they’ll get twitchy, tetchy or bored. Remember everyone loves free things! If you can’t afford to pay for the bar all night then perhaps welcome drinks and some with the meal will be a nice gesture. Plus as someone with dietary requirements, I’m always impressed (& relieved) when different diets are considered at a wedding (which means I’ve got something to eat to soak up all that free drink!)
2. Keep them busy. No one likes to sit around for too long. Getting them involved and interacting will keep them engaged. Perhaps a video diary room for them to leave you a message or a photo booth for some fun. Don’t forget the children too with activities to keep their minds busy (and parents happy!)
3. Set expectations early. People are generally happier if they know what is happening and when. Give them a schedule with their invites (or in the order of service) so they at least know when the food will be served. Make it really clear in your invites who exactly is invited and to which parts. I was invited to a wedding a few years ago and the invite didn’t have any names on it. We didn’t know if our children were included let alone if we were both invited! Worse still, make it clear if they’re only being invited to the evening part rather than all day. Nothing worse than having to embarrassingly turn away guests.
4. Give clear and consistent communications. Make sure you say the same things to everyone. Don’t have different rules for different people. Or if you do, be clear why this is the case. For example, if you’ve said that it’s a kid free wedding but then you let one of your out of town guests bring their little ones with them. Or I once went to a wedding and wondered why so many of the guests were dressed in black and white. It turns out that one side of the family had been told that the couple had requested a colour scheme. However this message hadn’t been translated to all the guests including me (in my green and brown dress) and my husband (in his blue suit) plus the rest of our side of the family!
5. Choose your guests carefully. They say that the enjoyment of most gatherings can be made or broken depending on who is there. People do really make the party! So the all important seating plan can dictate what kind of a day your guests might have. Often I’ve been a guest at the evening part of a wedding and not really known anyone except for the happy couple. It’s been really hard to integrate with the day guests when you don’t know them and when you’re coming to the show late. So make sure that you can offer the evening guests a flavour of the day too. Perhaps save cutting your cake and first dance so they get to experience some ‘wedding’ elements in their experience too.
6. Inject some humour in to the day. Honestly the best weddings I’ve been to have been when I’ve been belly laughing at the speeches. Not the ones where I’ve been cringing at the inappropriateness, or yawning at the length of the speech or felt like an outsider as I didn’t understand any of the in jokes. Laughter is great and it’s really important to make the day fun for everyone but not just for a select few.
7. Show your love and gratitude. Guests may have come a long way, taken time off work or paid to stay over. So let them know how much you appreciate their support and presence either with words or presents. Isn’t it great to see a happy couple so in love and making this commitment. As a guest, I’ve definitely enjoyed weddings where the couple really look in love (it’s never good if you’re doubting whether it will work!) Just like the royal kiss on the balcony, we’re all waiting for the ‘you may now kiss the bride’ moment after your vows.
8. Pick the perfect place to say I do. Your guests don’t want to be freezing in a marquee in the winter or glomping across a muddy field in stilettos. If you’re going with something a little out of the norm then give your guests warning on different attire to wear or provide blankets, flip flops, sunglasses etc to cover the different eventualities. A wonderful trend at the moment is the weekend wedding when you pick a venue where your guests can stay over too. This is great to prolong the festivities and give you more opportunities to relax and mingle with all your guests.
9. Personalise the day. Where you can, try to make the experience individual for your guests so they feel special and an important part of your day. I once went to a wedding and the favours were all bars of chocolate. The wrapper was printed with a photograph of me as a child with the groom (who I’d know since I was very small). Every favour was personal to each guest and how they knew the couple. It still makes me smile thinking about it today.
10. Make it affordable. Think about your guests’ wallets when you’re planning the day. How much does a pint of beer cost at the bar? How much is a room to stay? How far away is the venue from where they live? It may put some guests off or leave a bad taste if things are too expensive or not good value for money. You may look at your guests with dollar signs over the head when you’re writing the guest list but they’re weighing up the expensive of coming too. Make it worth their while and give them a great wedding to remember.
by Hanami Dream | 11, November, 2015 | blog, guest post, tips
We don’t have a television at the moment. After some building work before the summer we moved it and have never reinstated it. We haven’t missed it at all and what it has meant is that we only watch something that we really want to watch now (rather than flicking through channels if we are tired) or do other things instead.
I’ve taken to watching iPlayer whilst I cook and found some great period dramas over the summer to watch such as The Duchess of Devonshire, The Scandalous Lady W and Lady Chatterley’s Lover. I soon discovered that there’s a common thread through these and realised that all of these films made me feel really lucky to be a wife of this century. Plus along with the recent film release of Suffragette, I’m very grateful that I have choices and rights that my ancestors wouldn’t have had.
The vows I chose to make when I got married were promises rather than laws. I didn’t become the property of my husband and I chose not to ‘obey’ him in my vows. However a few centuries ago people didn’t have this same luxury. We live in a time when marriage is about partnership, lifelong companionship and equal rights.
The wording of the Church of England traditional wedding vows includes the bride promising to ‘obey’ and the groom vowing to ‘worship’ his wife. However some couples choose to leave out these words nowadays and alternatively choose ‘to love and to honour’ or ‘love and cherish’.
Traditional vows
‘I, (name), take you, (name)
to be my wife/husband,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part’
Traditional promises
Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her,
and, forsaking all others,
be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
Whilst traditional vows still hold a lot of meaning, relevance and importance, we are also able to choose to make those vows more personal depending on the type of ceremony. Especially in humanist or non-religious ceremonies where you can personalise and express yourself completely when writing your own vows. Whilst sometimes the amount of choices we have in life can be overwhelming, I remain grateful that we have choices.
Over the past four years, Zena Birch has worked very closely with couples to help them create their own personal vows to go alongside or precede more traditional ring vows. Here are some of her top tips for writing your own vows.
In a humanist ceremony instead of holding themselves accountable to a god or a deity, couples are actually asking those gathered to hold them accountable as they witness their public declarations. Therefore the words they say as they make their vows and their promises to each other are more important than ever.
In today’s age it is possible to live very happily together without getting married, so when a couple decide to take this extra step it is a deeply personal commitment. Your vows are to be celebrated every year you manage to uphold them, but they should also be the words that hold you fast when times get difficult and as such it is important that the vows you say to each other are made up of the values and commitments you are willing to stand by.
My couples and I work together to discover just what those words/promises might be. It can be very daunting – faced with a blank page and some of the most important words you are ever going to say, so the advice I tend to give is to make sure they:
- sound like you, they should have your tone of voice, they should be authentic – if you tease each other, there is no harm in an element of this being reflected within your vows, this is just as important as a sense of solemnity. Capturing the twinkle in your eye as well as the sincerity in your heart is key.
- reflect what you have both agreed to commit to one another. Although many couples decide to say their vows as a surprise to each other on the day, it is important that the process involved in creating them is shared so that they are in agreement with their core values.
- Enjoy creating them!
We are lucky to live in an era where our own words hold validity. Writing your own wedding vows is a very enriching experience and one which can really help lay the foundations needed for a long and joy filled marriage.
For more information on a humanist ceremony go to www.zenabirch.com or contact zenabirchweddings@gmail.com
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