I was really pleased to work with Farrow Photography on another styled shoot this autumn. We first joined forces in 2014 to bring to life some inspirational themes to show how you can enhance your milestone events. Following the success of our previous themed photo shoots, we collaborated once again to produce an amazing bridal styled shoot based around another well known story, The Wind in the Willows. It was also an honour to be able to showcase some amazing products from some fantastic local suppliers.
Theme I choose the Wind in the Willows theme as it is another classic story with it’s roots firmly based in and around Oxfordshire. The book by Kenneth Grahame was written 108 years ago (published on 15th June 1908) and he took inspiration from the River Thames from his child hood and also from when he lived in Oxford when he was at school. In later life, he lived in Blewbury with his own family and The Wind in the Willows was based on stories that he used to tell to his son Alistair. It is even claimed that Mapeldurham was the vision for Toad Hall.
This book evokes such beautiful natural scenes of being beside the riverbank – a relaxing setting, which allows characters rustic picnics and peaceful treks down the river, all to contrast with hectic, crowded city life. Many cite that the book has a common theme of struggling with a sense of place. Whether it’s being comfortable with where you are or facing things that need to be changed.
For me, it typifies a sense of adventure and the great open road. So initially, I really wanted to focus on getting as many different modes of transport involved in this bridal shoot, including a rowing boat, a vintage car (poop poop!), a colourful old fashioned bow top caravan and even a barge, if possible.
There’s also a running theme of hospitality in the book, so I wanted to get across the feel of a decadent banquet in the Grand Hall as well as a sumptuous picnic.
I wanted to hint at the theme with slight nods to the book in place names, the table plan and on the cake. I certainly didn’t want to focus on the weasels at Toad Hall as their laughs and noises used to scare me when I listened to the cassette story as a child!
The final thing that I really wanted to capture was stunning, rich autumnal colours.
Styled shoot A styled shoot takes almost as much time and effort to produce as a wedding day and entails bringing together the theme from many different suppliers.
The beauty of styled shoots (versus a real life wedding) is that it is a great opportunity to be a little more extravagant and really show off what you’ve always wanted to do. You can indulge your fantasies with new trends or products that couples may not have seen yet or something really unusual.
This styled shoot is a collaboration of like minded people that can create great things together but perhaps don’t have the budgets to produce this kind of work if they all worked independently.
Brief I am very lucky to live in a beautiful part of the UK and am surrounded by some seriously talented wedding venues, professionals and suppliers. I was honoured that so many wanted to be involved in this shoot and they certainly didn’t disappoint with the products that they provided.
I gave them all the same brief that I was trying to achieve:
an outdoors adventure with vintage transport along the beautiful riverside, followed by celebrations in a grand hall dressed in marsala and tweed with chalk board signs
I also provided them with my collated vision and ideas on my Pinterest board.
The themes I wanted to encapsulate included:
Transportation
Autumn
Bo-ho / 1970s
Chalk board
Marbling
Greenery
I wanted to focus on the following autumnal colours:
Marsala (colour of the year in 2015 and still going strong)
Pale pink/coral (Rose Quartaz is one of the colours of the year in 2016 and I wanted to have a dress that wasn’t a traditional white dress)
Gold (using the current metallic trend along with copper and a welcome alternative to silver)
Tweed (casual men’s wear perfect for the country setting)
Forest Green (focusing on lots of greenery and foliage)
Designs The creative suppliers worked wonders in transforming my overflowing pot of ideas and pairing it down in to realistic and achievable products for us to showcase.
Stationery designs – One of the first ideas for this shoot came from an image that I saw of a floral archway bursting with rich dark coloured flowers. Having spoken to Paper Tree Design about my vision, they were excited about making this floral arch from paper and card including lots of dark green foliage and some metallic and pearlised paper. The stationery had to synchronise up with lots of other elements such as the font and date of the wedding used on the invitation and cake, the flower illustrations used are ladies smock, wild rose and pink, and white campion, the menu used is a sample from the venue, plus the envelope liner was tweed inside a marsala coloured envelope.Then the theme came alive with the inclusion of the author and character names on the place cards (Mr Grahame, Mrs Grahame, Mr Toad, Mr Badger, Mr Mole, Mr Rat), and the seating plan had table names displayed on a chalk board which were named after the first 9 chapters of the book (1. The River Bank, 2. The Open Road, 3. The Wild Wood, 4. Mr Badger, 5. Dulce Domum, 6. Mr Toad, 7. The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, 8. Toad’s Adventures, 9. Wayfarers All).
Cake design – The Pretty Cake Company helped to combine a few ‘on trend’ themes for this photo shoot, whilst combining the floral themes too. Marble wedding cakes are a revived trend that are becoming very popular and combined with the ongoing popularity of metallic effects, this shoot was perfect to experiment with both. The top and bottom tier were covered using a hand mixed grey marbled sugarpaste. The top tier had a subtle splattering of edible gold lustre paint and the bottom tier had the gold drip effect which looked like it poured from the second gold lustred tier. The chalkboard effect on the third tier was sympathetic to the stationery used and with a nod to Kenneth Grahame whose book ‘The Wind in The Willows’ inspired this shoot. The cake was finished with a selection of arrangements of sugar flowers such as burgundy dahlias, coral ranunculus, sweet avalanche roses, snowberries and green viburnum.
Flowers – Classic Flowers really went to town with my brief of having loose and flowing displays along with the colour themes running throughout the shoot. The green amaranthus especially in the bouquet worked in beautiful harmony with the weeping willow at the venue.Here are the flowers that were used in the shoot:
Brides bouquet – Mustard roses, Astrantia, Green and Coral Hypericum, Bombastic spray roses, Green Amaranthus, Burgundy Dahlia, Skimmia, flowering eucalyptus, ivy and fatsia leaves.
Buttonhole – Mustard rose, Bombastic spray roses, Burgundy Dahlia, Green and coral hypericum, flowering eucalyptus and skimmia leaves.
Table arrangement – flowers as brides bouquet PLUS green orchids and soft ruscus.
Swag on fireplace – Flowering eucalyptus, ivy, skimmia and soft ruscus.
Temple – Peach roses
Love Seat – ivy, flowering eucalyptus and skimmia
Despite getting stuck in Calais (due to the migrant camp closing), the flowers thankfully made their way from the Dutch supplier in time for the shoot!
Soap favours – the beautiful Marsala Peacock soap favours were an equistite addition to the beautifully laid tablescape in the banquet scene. Stonesfield Soap Company were amazing at making these bespoke soaps to match the colour theme of the shoot and they added a great aroma to the room whilst we were shooting! They are all made by hand and these images give an idea of the amount of processes that go in to making these favours. Here are the ingredients of the soaps that were used on this shoot:
Other inclusions: goat milk yogurt, tapioca starch, kaolin clay
Suppliers I couldn’t have been happier (and luckily) with the products that all the suppliers produced and provided.
Venue – I picked the Old Swan and Minster Mill based on it’s riverside location and it’s glorious weeping willow tree. How fortuitous that we also discovered that they had an old disused boat house and moored rowing boat that just so happened to be painted in red to match our theme perfectly! Also the chairs in the dining room were also a perfect colour match. It seemed like fate to bring the venue and colour palettes together in one amazing venue.
Hair – I was incredibily pleased that Lucy Beesley Bridal were available to do the bride’s hair and make up for this shoot. She actually did my hair at my own wedding 5 years – surely you can’t get a better recommendation! She brilliantly included the colour theme in the marsala lipstick and green/black eye liner and ensured the braided hair followed the loose and flowing themes.
Dress – Originally, I really wanted to use a non-white dress for this shoot – like a pale pink or coral colour. Plus I wanted to get away from the strapless dresses we see all too often. So I briefed Mae Bridal that I wanted to use something that covered the shoulders (which I think our cold bride was appreciative on the day!) and that had embroidery on it. The Watters Amelia dress hit the brief bang on with a nude coloured under skirt, amazing embroidered back and sleeves, plus a nice bo-ho vibe to fit in with the laid back theme.
Menswear – Keates of Witney provided a brilliant tweed jacket and waistcoat with pops of red to bring together the bow tie, cords and red of the checked shirt. Our groom looked like a proper country gent!
Cutlery – I wanted to get away from all the silver cutlery adorning tables and push towards the mixed metallic trends that are appearing. I was also really keen to use local suppliers for this shoot and searched extensively for gold cutlery. I was delighted to find the Vintage Gold China whilst networking on a wedding Twitter hour one night. They seem to be the only supplier locally to have an extensive selection of modern and traditional styled gold cutlery as well as crockery to hire. Plus they were a font of knowledge and extremely happy to help with my quest for finding marsala coloured candles to go in their lovely selection of gold coloured candlesticks. Even after a tiring night washing up the products from the night before, they turned up with such enthusiasm and encouragement that it was a delight to have them involved in the shoot.
Tea light holders – Another trend I wanted to include an element of geometric terrariums or candle holders. Just by chance, I was talking to Larkrise Flowers at the Cogges Wedding Open Day about my search and they were able to very kindly source some brilliant geometric copper candle holders from Talking Tables on my behalf.
Car – The shoot’s main inspiration was always about different modes of transport, so it wouldn’t have been complete without the stunning Humber from British Classic Car Hire. And a stroke of luck that the interior of ‘Hester’ was a luxurious marsala coloured leather – it was meant to be! ‘Hester’ is stunning in Black and White, with her beautiful, almost Art Deco lines, lots of chrome detailing and huge headlights, Hester turns heads wherever she goes. A comfortable ride, sliding sun-roof and lovely drop down tables in the rear, she’s a real beauty.
Models – And lastly the shoot was brought beautifully to life by the stunning models. I advertised for waves and beards and was so pleased that Jess and Henry were not only able to play our bride and groom but fitted the bill perfectly (his beard was so well coiffured!) They are a real life couple and this really showed in the way that they interacted and came across on camera. Not yet married, but very much in love, they were just right as the happy couple (even if it was a fake wedding!) I, for one, can’t wait to hear if playing the parts has sown any seeds and I look forward to hearing any engagement news in due course!
The course has (and continues) to open my eyes up to a whole world of weddings beyond just wedding planning.
Thanks to my tutor’s support and invaluable guidance, along with the interaction and networking with fellow students (new and upcoming entrants to the industry bursting with fresh ideas) as well as an impressive alumni, tutors and advisory board full of experience and expertise.
We are lucky in the Oxfordshire Cotswolds to have some highly talented, local suppliers who specialise in offering unique, bespoke and professional wedding services.
Plus, right on my door step, is the stunning barn venue at Cogges Manor Farm which I’m delighted to be supporting at their Wedding Open Day on Sunday 16th October 11am-3pm.
Come along for a tour of the amazing barns and gardens – perfect for your wedding venue.
I will be offering a drop in wedding planning clinic for couples who would like practical help to turn their ideas into reality.
You’ll also be able to see all these lovely local wedding suppliers too:
At Abigail’s Kitchen we pride ourselves on providing a completely bespoke service. We understand that every couple has a dream of their perfect day and that no two wedding days are alike. We provide free help and advice at the planning stages and meet to work with each couple to help them get the most from their budget, to allow those dreams to come true.
With that in mind, there are no set menus; we create each menu and service style to meet with the client’s requirements. This allows us to do everything from picnics and afternoon teas to a formal four course wedding breakfast. We also offer canapes, finger buffets, hot and cold fork buffets, pig roast and BBQ’s, cheeseboards with homemade chutneys and pickles, wedding cakes of cheese, evening food sausage and bacon rolls, and our ever popular 12 hour slow cooked pulled pork and coleslaw baps.
We use local suppliers wherever possible, and vegetables, salads and herbs are often home grown. We provide all white china, stainless steel cutlery, glasses and any serving equipment required by your menu choices, from 3 layer tea stands to 6ft long cheeseboards. We pride ourselves on our highly trained and experienced front of house staff that make your guests feel looked after from the first welcome drink to the last crumb of wedding cake.
Please do get in touch to arrange a meeting with Abigail at a time convenient to you (7 days a week and evenings and weekends). Call 07771 616415 or email abipritcher@yahoo.com
As a photographer for over 16 years, assignments have taken we worldwide. I enjoy working locally within West Oxfordshire as much as being commissioned to photograph weddings around the world. I believe the key factor in supplying services is customer satisfaction. Having taken traditional wedding images for a number of years I made the decision in 2015 to take on a new challenge. Now fully trained and licensed by the Civil Aviation Authority to fly commercially, I am proud to be one of very few people permitted to take aerial images of our beautiful area and capture stunning memories. Take a look at some of my wedding clips on YouTube.
Lark Rise Flowers, are professionally qualified florists, based in the rolling countryside of North Oxfordshire. They provide flowers for weddings and events throughout Oxon, Bucks, Northants, and beyond.
Stock is sourced from the major flower markets, and if seasonally available from an expanding group of British growers. The Eco commitment continues with a policy of recycling waste packaging and surplus green material.
Sandra, the Proprietor, is happy to meet with you for personal consultations and site visits. She will work with your brief, budget, or theme, to create a unique day for you both.
The Lark Rise team have a wealth of experience, having provided many wedding flowers, and decorated most of the major wedding venues in the area. They take pride and care in their work, from the simplest buttonhole through to beautiful bridal bouquets and venue décor.
As a wedding celebrant, I love spending time getting to know you as a couple, your story, your dreams, what makes you tick as a couple and then using this to create bespoke wedding ceremonies that are all about you – a ceremony that your guests will remember, a ceremony that you will never forget. Using a celebrant opens up so many choices of where and when to hold your ceremony and what to include in it. Truly, your choice, your voice, your ceremony.
Mabel & Rose has a lovely array of original vintage and rustic props available to hire. Our large range includes old apple crates, oak barrels, chalkboards, vintage suitcases, rustic wheelbarrows, an old delivery bicycle plus lots of smaller items like vintage bottles, jars, jugs and pots. So whether it’s large milk churns filled with flowers or a selection of vintage tin baths to keep your drinks cool we would love to help you enhance your venue and create the perfect look and feel for your wedding. Styling and on the day venue dressing services are also available.
Mag & Tim serve Winstone’s delicious traditional ice cream to your guests for approx 2 hours at a time to suit you, in either waffle cones or tubs and then guests can help themselves to the “Extras” table with sprinkles, sauces, flakes, choc sticks etc.
They have been trading for about 3 years. Take a look on their Facebook page to see some of their lovely reviews.
Oakwood Events supplies stunning lighting for stylish couples. They design and install lighting schemes for barn weddings using fairy lights, festoon lights, bare bulbs, paper lanterns, chandeliers, drapes, uplighting, bunting and dance floor lighting.
Lighting is a unique addition to your wedding and can be used to highlight features like beams or stone walls, change the atmosphere between day and night or make a colour or design statement to match your theme. Oakwood Events pride themselves on top quality design, professional installation and amazing features; explore their Pinterest boards for inspiration and to see how their lighting adds wow factor to barn weddings. See your wedding in a different light!
The Oxfordshire Photobooth Company offer you the best DSLR photobooth. Our ‘open-air’ booth creates the perfect ice breaker and talking point, an easy way to get the whole family involved. The only limit to how many people can fit in to our booth is your imagination!
We offer a range of packages for a range of budgets and can tailor any of these to your requirements. Every booking receives a fully customised start screen and watermarked image with your names in your colour scheme! Our instant photo prints, social media sharing, scrap books, photo albums, backdrops and bunting give gives your special day a completely unique, bespoke touch. For more information, please get in contact via any of our social media links.
Paper Tree Design was created through a love of paper and a desire to produce beautiful and personal stationery and decorations. Thoughtfully designed, we focus on quality and attention to detail to make your stationery truly individual. With a background in Fashion and Textile Design, and 15 years experience in retail buying and product development Suzanne has a wealth of experience to draw on and is passionate about delivering design with little personal touches that reflect the clients loves and interests.
Living in rural Oxfordshire Suzanne cannot help but be inspired by the beauty of the natural world and the changing seasons, and can frequently be found in lanes and hedgerows with her camera and a sketchbook. Specialising in paper cutting, at Paper Tree Design we create your handcrafted wedding stationery to order. Choose to personalise a card from one of our ranges or commission a bespoke design. I am at my best working with your theme and ideas for a truly personal invitation and welcome you to come and have a chat and a cuppa in my Oxfordshire studio to discuss plans for your wedding.
The Pretty Cake Company offers a friendly, personal and bespoke wedding cake design service to produce breath taking wedding cakes that will be remembered for years to come. Our aim is to produce a wedding cake that is individual to the bride and groom – always focusing on the attention to detail that makes all the difference. We have over 10 years of experience in designing and creating wedding cakes and work closely with numerous prestigious wedding venues in Oxfordshire, Gloucestershire and The Cotswolds. We will work with you and take your ideas and inspirations in order to create a truly memorable wedding cake. We pride ourselves on using the finest quality and freshest ingredients available.
Unlike many other cake companies, we now specialise only in wedding cakes, as this is our true passion. Now we are able to focus on keeping up to date with current bridal trends and ensuring that our clients receive expert advice in the wedding cake field.
Clients are guaranteed a friendly, efficient service where quality is never compromised. Consultations by appointment only. We are based in Minster Lovell, Witney, West Oxfordshire and can deliver to a wide area.
Richard Young is a professional wedding magician who will amaze and amuse your guests throughout the quieter parts of your big day with his amazing close-up magic and mind reading. Magic is one of the few forms of entertainment you can book that will connect with all ages, nationalities and cultures at your wedding because everyone loves to be amazed and made to feel like a kid again. Richard’s magic will create lasting exciting memories of your wedding and create a fantastic atmosphere as he moves from group to group. Richard can perform during your drinks reception, wedding breakfast or evening reception, the choice is yours and Richard has different packages available for different size weddings and most importantly different size budgets.
Richard has been a full time professional magician for 10 years and lives in Oxfordshire, he is a full member of The Magic Circle and he performs at over 60 weddings a year so you can be assured of a top notch product that will go down an absolute storm at your wedding. You will soon see him on the brand new ITV1 prime time TV show ‘The Next Great Magician (7pm November 6th 2016 on ITV1) and he is also the headliner magician on the touring theatre show Champions of Magic. Richard is recommended by all the top wedding venues in Oxfordshire including Blenheim Palace, Le Manoir, Eynsham Hall and Caswell House.
I am Rosie of Rosie Red Corsetry & Couture, creating luxury bridal wear for all body types. My garments are made with the utmost of love, bespoke for you in Oxfordshire, England. Whether you’re plus size or petite, I promise you a fabulous experience from start to finish.
My growing celebrity following includes Helena Bonham Carter and Billie Piper.
I am such a romantic and a fan of love, creating your bridal gown is so much more than just a job to me. I would love you to be a Rosie Red Bride.
Occasion Hair and Make up Artist specialising in Bridal and Occasion Hair and Make up. Twists offer a professional and creative service throughout Oxfordshire and the Cotswold villages, in the comfort of your own home or venue.
We understand that your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. Therefore we endeavour to ensure that your wedding hair and make up is one to be admired and remembered.
If you’re planning your wedding in the Cotswolds then make sure to get your copy of the 2016/17 edition of Cotswold Bride which is out now for the year.
A beautiful sunny late August bank holiday saw the wedding of Vikki and Dan at Cogges Manor Farm in 2015.
close up of dusty pink roses and wheat in bridal bouquet held by bride with groom
White wedding cake with filigree and dusty pink roses by Pretty Cake Company
Photography by Neil Hanson straw bales covered in pink and cream covers set for wedding ceremony complete with aisle, bunting and fairy lights in rustic barn
close up of flowers on top table of rustic rose barn wedding
pink potted plants, lavender and roses in wooden crates for floral seating plan
chalk board itinerary outside rustic barn wedding venue
Cogges Manor Farm is nestled in the lovely market town of Witney and offers two stunning seventeenth century barns for weddings. This is a special location for the happy couple who are regular visitors to this local venue. Plus it was a perfect blank canvas for them to add loads of personalised details to the day with hessian, white lace, dusky pink ribbons and roses. This wonderful rustic rose pink barn wedding was captured by Neil Hanson Photography.
The bride and her attendants arrived in style in a white carriage pulled by two pristine white horses courtesy of Fabulous Occasions – what a way to make an entrance! The bride wore an exquisite low back white wedding dress which consisted of a figure hugging satin underdress with a lace overlay which had a beautiful V-neck as well as a breath taking deep V-back. This was purchased from Proposals in Witney and is by Essence of Australia. The bride searched for a long time to perfectly colour match the ribbon sash herself, in order to coordinate it with the colour scheme of the day, and then attached a lace appliqué to the new ribbon.
She carried a magnificent bouquet by Distinctive Petals which included peonies, David Austin roses, wheat, gypsophila (baby’s breath), astilbe (false goat’s beard) and amnesia roses. The wheat echoed the venue’s wheat barn heritage and featured in several of the displays during the day. The peonies were also a pleasant surprise for the bride – these are her favourite flower but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to get them out of season but the wonderful florist pulled it out of the bag on the day!
The wedding continued to wow as the bride entered the picturesque barns adorned with hand-made bunting in vintage floral material, fairy lights strewn over the beams from UBE Lighting and she walked down an aisle made of straw bales covered in the same coordinating pink and white fabric. Once the ceremony was over, the guests mingled around the courtyard of the farm and enjoyed the glorious sunshine. They were able to find their names on an ingenious floral seating plan with potted plants of hydrangeas, lavender and roses stood in a wooden crate pyramid.
The table names were named after the bride and groom’s favourite local walks (their own pet names for the walks rather than their official names). For example, Fields of Love was the name of the top table which is the name they gave to the field where they were walking their dogs when they said they loved each other for the first time! The guests all sat down to enjoy a picnic courtesy of local caterer, Abigail’s Kitchen. Tables had a rustic feel and flowers were displayed in clear glass jam jars and milk bottles decorated with twine and fabric and stood on wooden slices (all supplied by the florist).
All the stationery was put together by the bride using recycled card, tags and twine bought from Razzle Dazzle Rose (who also printed their invite cards). Another wonderful personal touch was the carrot seed favours which were a nod to their romantic proposal of carrots spelling out ‘Will you marry me’ in an allotment. Read more about how the groom spelt it out in this real life romantic proposal stories blog post.
Before their first dance, the happy couple cut the charming ivory four tier wedding cake, with hand piped filigree highlighted with pearl lustre and decorated with a selection of varying shades of dusty pink sugar roses, beautifully made by The Pretty Cake Company.
The guests enjoyed a succulent hog roast from The Oxfordshire Pig Company, then danced the night away whilst Mark Cortez sang and the sun set on an amazing and truly memorable wedding day!
sign posts in front of rustic wedding barns in Witney, Oxfordshire
chalk board itinerary outside rustic barn wedding venue
Photography by Neil Hanson straw bales covered in pink and cream covers set for wedding ceremony complete with aisle, bunting and fairy lights in rustic barn
baby's breath in glass vases on top table by old cart underneath bunting in a rustic barn for wedding reception
Photography by Neil Hanson pink and cream bunting with fairy lights dressing beautiful rustic wedding barn set for reception
glasses of champagne being poured at wedding reception
bride and groom taking the goat for a walk at a Cogges Manor Farm wedding
dusty pink roses in bouquets, bridesmaid dress and bow on lace wedding dress
dusty pink bow and back detail of lace wedding dress
close up of dusty pink roses and wheat in bridal bouquet held by bride with groom
dusty pink roses, baby's breath and wheat in beautiful bridal bouquet
baby's breath button hole tied with hessian on white table with wooden hearts
pink potted plants, lavender and roses in wooden crates for floral seating plan
pink potted plant seating plan
detail shot of potted plants in vintage floral print material covering glass jars acting as seating plan
white metal bird cage adorned with heart hessian bunting and pink roses for guests to post their wedding cards
engraved wooden hearts for wedding reception
Remember when, a doodle just for you, a wish upon a star icebreaker memory cards for guests to complete at wedding reception
Fields of Love table name wrapped around glass vase for wedding reception
close up of flowers on top table of rustic rose barn wedding
cream and pink roses along with wheat in vase covered with vintage floral print material stood on two wooden stands at wedding reception
baby's breath, pink and cream roses on table table at wedding reception
Astall Pastures table name wrapped around clear glass vases next to pink and cream roses on wooden stands at wedding reception
Baby's breath in glass vases wrapped in string alongside smaller vases containing roses stood on wooden stands on tables at wedding reception
Eat cake and be merry sign in white vintage frame in front of wedding cake with dusty pink sugar roses
White wedding cake with filigree and dusty pink roses by Pretty Cake Company
Dusty pink ribbon tied in a bow around a white wedding cake
close up of filigree and dusty pink sugar rose on wedding cake
detail shot of dusty pink sugar roses and ribbon on wedding cake
close up of top of white wedding cake with dusty pink roses and filigree
fairy lights and bunting decorating beams of rustic wedding barn
bride and groom by a metal gate in a beautiful embrace at sunset
“Thank you for your wonderful advice and help in getting us started on our wedding planning journey.
Having your support and expertise on hand helped to minimise the fear of a blank canvas and meant that we could focus on making the fun decisions without worrying about missing a step.
Your enthusiasm and passion for weddings – in all their forms – inspired us to get stuck-in and enjoy the whole process, and your fabulous tools and documents have been the absolute mainstay of all our planning! Thank you again!”
Verity & Paul, ISIS Farmhouse, Oxford – August 2016
Your wedding day is one of the happiest days of your life. When you look around the room you’ll see all the people that you love, however you may also notice all the people that are missing from the celebrations too.
Not to put a dampener on proceedings but inevitably there may be some people who won’t be able to join you on your big day perhaps due to distance, illness or because they have passed away. Telegrams are often traditionally read by those who couldn’t make it and sometimes a toast is raised to absent friends.My own wedding day was tinged with some sadness as my father suddenly passed away 9 weeks before we got married. It was a huge shock and at one point we considered whether we should postpone the wedding. I guess this is why we bought wedding insurance but I didn’t want to be sat around on our chosen date commenting that we would’ve been getting married today. We decided to go ahead and it gave our family something positive to focus on.
I certainly didn’t anticipate having to organise a funeral in the midst of wedding preparations but it did give me some clarity for the day. My father wasn’t around much when I was growing up and he wasn’t always that reliable. He had been unwell for some time prior to his death and so we didn’t know if he’d be well enough to be a part of the day at all, let alone even turn up. Or if he had turned up whether he’d been ill at the reception. Although it was unpleasant circumstances, at least I knew whether he would actually be there or not!
We had already asked my mum to do the ‘mother of the bride’ speech and my Grandad proudly walked me down the aisle (which was fitting as he was such an influential part of my life), and my husband toasted our absent friends in his speech. We didn’t want the day to be dominated by the recent sad events, so we chose not to do anything more public – everything was still too raw to cope with anything else.
I knew the day was going to be emotional but we also had this immense warm feeling of love from all our friends and family who were there and all knew about the ‘elephant in the room’. They were so caring, supportive and encouraging. There was torrential rain the day before we got married (it was August – thanks British weather!) and again the day after. Yet on the day of our wedding it was glorious sunshine and the grass was a lush green and the flowers were all blooming after being refreshed from the rain. In the car on the way to the church, my Grandad told me that he thought the sunshine was his late wife (my Nanny) shining down on us.
I know that my other Nan still watches our wedding DVD back frequently so that she can see her now late husband enjoying the day. The photos too are a snapshot of the people that were in our lives at that time and who we were fortunate to share our special day with. There were poignant moments but the sadness didn’t dictate the day. It was certainly a day of huge celebration. We didn’t forget those that has passed but we didn’t dwell on their passing.
Here are some suggestions of ways to privately or publicly remember lost loved ones at weddings:
Photographs – framed photos set up on a table or part of a family tree, hanging in photo charms on your bouquet, hanging from shoes or placed in a locket
Jewellery – wear heirlooms or gifts from the loved one, wear their wedding bands tied round an ankle or wrist, wear or melt down their wedding band to make your own
Embroidery – material from a piece of their clothing stitched in your wedding dress, use their handkerchiefs or ties, have monograms of their initials stitched in your dress
Candles – a lit candle in church or on a table in the reception
Flowers – use their favourite flower, have a single flower in a vase, put your bouquet on their grave afterwards
Ceremony – dedicate a reading to them, include a tribute in the order of service, get the celebrant to mention them
Chairs – have a reserved seat for them at the ceremony (although this may be a little emotional to see an empty chair there)
Reception – name tables after them, toast them in your speech, place a drink for them at the bar, use a special piece of music
Favours – donate to a relevant charity or place a charity pin as a favour
Releases – let balloons, Chinese lanterns or butterflies float off in to the sky
‘If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.’
A. A. Milne
We are lucky in the Oxfordshire Cotswolds to have some highly talented, local suppliers who specialise in offering unique, bespoke and professional wedding services.
I’m delighted to be supporting Cogges Manor Farm with their Wedding Open Day on Sunday 16th October 11am-3pm in Witney, Oxfordshire.
